Lying is a Skill Like Any Other

For those who follow my writings online, you will recognise this phrase and that its origins are contained within Star Trek Deep Space Nine. An unloved spin-off of the Star Trek franchise and one which provided us with such memorable characters as Garak.

Whilst the storylines were not everyone’s cup of tea, the character of Garak always fascinated me. An enemy turned friend during the days of the Dominion war and beforehand through his friendship with Doctor Bashir.

All of the thoughts about Garak mean nothing to you dear reader and so I will knuckle down to the point. Garak was a former intelligence agent who believed that lying is a skill like any other and that to maintain a level of excellence, you need to practice and I agree.

Lying is a Skill

Lying is not something that comes easily to human beings. We are not born with lies in our hearts, they are brought into our days by the circumstances that surround us. Whether that is through our friends or family, they eventually reach us quickly and easily.

Lying is a skill as it helps us to navigate our days to varying levels. From the white lies that protect our colleague's feelings to the out-and-out lies that help us avoid those we wish to avoid. Lies are everywhere.

Lying is a great shield through which to deflect others from us and it is one that you need to practice in order to create a level of excellence within our lives. Lying protects us from being hurt.

Something to be Proud of?

Many may read this entry and consider lying to be abhorrent and in many ways it can be. It is a way and means by which unscrupulous individuals con their way into the lives of the unwary.

Men lying to sleep with women and women lying to walk away from men after they have had their fun are the top examples to consider here and they are not lies to be proud of. Lies in this context are not a source of pride but lies that provide us with a step back are something to be proud of.

Lies that help us to create space in our lives are great. They are what help me to shift around awkward situations without hurting the feelings of others in my life such as my friends and family. I do love them all but sometimes you do simply wish for a little space.

Lying to Your Family

Before Christmas, I lied to my Mum as I was meant to head home for Christmas but decided at the last minute to go home the next day.

I told my Mum that I needed to hand my laptop back, for it to be repaired over Christmas. That was a lie and I told it as I felt as though I had not really said a decent goodbye to my wife and wanted to be able to finish off work and then head home, rather than how it would have been.

If I had gone home when planned then my goodbye to my wife would have been feeble as it was this morning and I began to feel lonely. I missed her and the thought of not saying goodbye was enough to override my original plan to justify my lies.

Did I feel Bad?

There was a part of me that felt bad as my Mum sounded a little hurt but the narrative that I constructed was believable and she has long forgotten.

I know my Mum and she hates not being able to have her own way. On this occasion, she was not able to have her own way but as an only child, my Mum had little choice but to take it on the chin.

The lie was only minor and allowed me to be able to spend more time with my number one priority, my wife and in that sense, I was okay with that as whilst my wife is a pain in the arse, I do love her. She is the love of my life and as such my number two priority (my health is number one).

There is a part of you that will always feel bad for lying but you can never please anyone and on this occasion, I listened to my conscience, which told me to stay put. For once I listened to my instincts and therefore have little to no remorse for the situation.

A Final Thought

I told a believable story to get what I wanted and to be able to listen to my consciousness and place my wife first. She is the love of my life and the person whom I have committed to spend the rest of my life with.

My Mum is my Mum but we are no longer close, not since she met her husband and to spend a week lying, I need some practice first.

I am now 35 years of age and as such have had plenty of practice in my life when it comes to lying.

Lying is a skill for me and one that I have honed throughout my days in order to be able to deliver a believable story, quickly and effectively.

I feel ambivalent about lying in the sense that it is something that you are not supposed to feel good about but it is also something necessary.

I need to be able to make peace with the lies in my life (we all do) in order to get through my days, yet there is a level of necessary evil, where you do not feel proud of the action that we all need to contend with.