Love Is the Most Powerful Gift You Can Give Yourself

Self-love has never been so prevalent than nowadays as concepts of self-acceptance and self-worth are constantly talked about and encouraged. People take courses on how to promote themselves and build their confidence.

‘Don’t sell yourself short’ is the most widespread advice many coaches use, whether it’s for a professional career, in a business startup, or your personal life. Books about self-discovery, self-awareness, and even self-dating are all the rage right now.

It starts with you

Being someone who struggled with low self-esteem, it took me a long time before I came to the understanding that love starts with myself. I cannot look for it outside, nor will I ever find it in the outer world, if it, first, does not exist inside of me.

Even after that epiphany, I still struggled with accepting myself, and I was always looking for approval to feel better about myself. To prove to myself that I was important. That I mattered.

However, the high grades, the accomplishments, the praises never filled the void inside. It only grew bigger, hungrier.

Until, one day, I realized the power of love. As my faith grew and my connection with God got more meaningful, I started looking at myself differently. As I started investing in my spiritual growth, nourishing my soul, I started to look at myself as a creation of God. I realized I was a product of love, made with love, to be able to love.

If God, in his great mercy, had decided to put me on this earth, among all the other extraordinary people I often look up to, it meant something. He who created the mountains, the oceans, and the trees — all those amazing wonders — also made me. Out of love.

That’s when I realized that the love I was searching for outside was already implanted in me.

I realized that love is the most powerful gift you can give yourself and others. You have to love yourself so much that you’ll never give up on your dreams and goals. In the same way, you have to love others as much that you only give them the best version of yourself.

Don’t settle for anything less, for you deserve to be and to give the best of yourself.

“What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.” — Hellen Keller

Love only blossoms in fertile soil

You will never be able to grow a beautiful garden with weeds. However, flowers, as we all know, only grow in an environment that allows them to blossom. No plant is able to flourish in dry soil.

Do not let your self-hate and low self-esteem drain your capacity to love.

Our infinite capacity to love is a powerful tool. It makes us invincible. It makes us overcome obstacles, cross oceans, and climb mountains. When you love yourself, you expect greatness from yourself, as well as from others. You only see the best. You only want the best.

Strive to be better than you were yesterday because you are your biggest enemy and your biggest supporter. No one will want you to succeed as much as you want it for yourself — except maybe for mothers, but I digress, for motherly love is a topic entirely on its own that deserves to be discussed in another article.

Someone who loves themselves will want the best for themselves — whether it’s going after their dreams, not giving up on their goals, investing in themselves, or engaging in the relationships that are worth it.

“Love with no boundaries. Your future depends on your capacity to love.” — Paulo Coelho

The power of love: it can uplift you as much as it can destroy you.

We have to be careful with whom we love. Love as much as you can, but be aware that not everyone might be deserving of your love or be the right fit for it.

The best relationships challenge us to become better. The worst of relationships can destroy us completely if we give them the chance to do so. Do not underestimate the influence of others in your life — whether it’s for the better or for the worse.

The more you will love yourself, the more love you will have to give, and, as if by magic, you will start to attract the love that you deserve.

The problem with love is that we become vulnerable and we start to value our self-worth through the lens of the person we like. If we get the admiration or approval of that said person, then, we feel successful. When we don’t, we become devastated.

Don’t do that. Always remember that you are the source of your love. Don’t get your current be curtailed by someone who doesn’t know how to love you or doesn’t appreciate you for who are, even when you offer them the best of yourself.

Another mistake a lot of people make is taking the love of their family and friends for granted. Don’t forget to be grateful for their love and affection, for they have the choice to not love you. To not see your worth. It takes effort to love someone. To care for someone.

While everyone is unique, you need to keep in mind that people don’t love you because you’re special, you become special to them because of their love for you. This might sound counterintuitive and contradictory to the advice about self-love, but it is all related.

Love yourself and people will start loving you more. Love begets love, which, in turn, brings respect, trust, admiration, and so forth. We are made to thrive on love. Abundance creates more abundance, so always choose love over hate.

“You always gain by giving love.” — Reese Witherspoon

As much as it’s important to have high self-esteem and appreciate yourself, you should not forget that it is not only about you. It is also about the people in your life. Those who surround you, who love and support you filling it with meaning. It is about those who challenge you and shape you into a stronger, wiser version of yourself. But, of course, it all starts with you.

Thank you for reading

Bahora Saitova