Lost in a world of comparison

Your unhappiness comes from not being satisfied with your state and always comparing yourself with the people around you.

This is most obvious from the child, no child likes to be compared with the people around them by their parents, but always can not avoid it, parents use to do a comparison to show off, one is to urge the child's motivation, but this way there is no way to let the child focus on the things that should be put, his attention at this time on the "comparison The child's attention is on the "comparison" thing. And this comparison is for the child, but the child experienced a lot of bad emotions, inferiority, disdain, jealousy, hatred, disgust, etc., and very few people can go from the comparison to positive progress. Because in the process of comparison, the focus is on how to be better than each other, how to be better than each other, rather than what they need to do. This is a game process, not a process of growth.

If a child grows up with parents who are used to comparing themselves with others around them, then over time, the child will internalize this mindset and way of doing things, and as an adult, he will always compare himself with others around him, because he does not know how to survive in the relationship, as if there must be a goal around him, so that he can move forward, without this goal, he will not know how to Survival, will lose the meaning of survival.

From childhood to adulthood, one can fall into this crisis from time to time, especially when one is still young, and is often compared to the elders, but much of this process is unconscious, because many people are unaware of the potential harm of this behavior, and they do not feel that putting the child together will cause any harm to the child.

For example, when a child is half a year old and begins to add supplementary food, elders will unconsciously compare what the children of whoever's family eat, eat, how much better the children eat, if their children have a good appetite and eat well, it is just as well, if not, they will say look at you, why do not eat well, eat to grow fat, fat ah, tall. But ignoring the fact that everyone's appetite is originally different, must eat fat to be healthy?

When children are learning to speak, they unconsciously compare themselves with the children around them, what other children have learned, what other children can say, and what other children are doing. When people's children can crawl, they focus on making them learn to crawl all day long, and when people's children can walk, they let their children practice walking, often ignoring the child's developmental process.

Parents are always able to easily see the strengths of other children, but it is difficult to find the strengths and qualities worth developing in their children.

All they see in their eyes are the strengths of other people's children and all they see are the weaknesses of their children. If this continues, will the child feel happy inside? What is the purpose of learning to speak? What is the purpose of eating well? What is the purpose of studying well? What is the purpose of learning interest classes? Just because that's what other people's kids are going to do? If you think not, then I want to congratulate you, your child will grow up very happy.

It is because there is a lot of dissatisfaction and comparison that there are "other people's children", "other people's boyfriends" and "other people's husbands". You can only see the advantages of others, you simply do not have a way to see the shortcomings of others, unless others deliberately tell you what shortcomings, because and you spend a long time together, you can personally feel, experience, see, are the family. So try to put the eyes that see the good in other people's families on your own family.

Parents always unconsciously pass this unconscious thing to their children, since they are unconscious, many people are also unable to realize it, some people can realize, it but do not pay attention to it, and those who can realize and pay attention, are often those who live a happier life.

When you don't compare, you don't care if someone else is in a car and you are on a bike, you are happy on a bike, that's enough, whether it's a car or a bike, it's a means of transportation.

when you don't compare, you don't care that others are eating lobster, and you are eating steamed buns because you eat steamed buns can make you full, and steamed buns are also very nourishing to the stomach, which is enough, whether it is lobster or steamed buns, they are all food.

When you keep your eyes on the comparison, always with a "what" and "why" mentality, even in a minivan to eat lobster, the same can not make you satisfied, because you did not stop comparing, you are still thinking about Ferrari and shark fins.

Behind the comparison is a person's vanity and low self-esteem, many things do not have to show up to let others know how much more precious it is, the more deliberate to reveal, but to prove the lack of. When you do not consciously compare yourself with others, you can think for yourself, their own heart is worried about what? What are you afraid of?

When you are comparing your child, your child is better than others' children, what do you get? Is it the satisfaction of vanity? And is this taking advantage of your child? How do you feel when your child is not as good as someone else's? What do you feel inside when other people's children are using imported and repurchased items, and your children are using ordinary domestic items? And what is reflected behind these feelings is the part of you that needs to grow.

A person's self-confidence comes from what is in the grasp of their ability, knowledge, and grasp of how much they can do. Not because you are smarter than others you are confident, not because you are richer than others you are confident, and not because you are better than others you are confident. Rather, within their capabilities, they can do things well, can do things successfully, as a way to bring their satisfaction and self-confidence. Because we can't be smarter, more talented, and richer than everyone else.

Nature has given each of us unique characteristics, and we don't need to feel inferior to others who have something more than ourselves. In the world of comparison, we will lose ourselves and forget what we originally need, what we originally like, and what we are good at. We should develop ourselves, and how much we have grown and progressed today compared to yesterday when we all develop ourselves and tap into our wealth, to constitute a rich and colorful world.