Looking for genuine friendships

While growing up over the years I've noticed that human relationships have changed considerably over the years. I have seen the best of friendships and I have seen a ton of superficial relationships. The trend lately seems to follow the later but that's not to say that there aren't genuine relationships today.

When I was younger there was no social media platforms. It was a time when we all just said hi to each other and we basically tested the waters to see if we were compatible with people. I guess you can say it was a little more confrontational than it is today.

It wouldn't be weird if some stranger would come up to you and say hi and build a relationship from there. This went on for a long time. I guess social media sort of started blowing up when I was just finishing university. A lot of my friends got into it pretty quickly. I was hesitant of getting into it. I guess I'm a little bit of an idiot because I thought it was going to be a fad.

I guess 5 years after I graduated university I started noticing that my friends were having these inside jokes and inside conversations that involved things that involved their social media accounts. It wasn't that bad, I still saw them regularly and still had good connections with all of them.

My girlfriend at the time said enough is enough and created an account for me. I wasn't too happy about it but then after a day I started to understand what the big draw of social media. Now I was part of the inside jokes and conversations that involved jokes and controversies.

The years have gone by and I didn't realize it but my friends and I would interact less and less with each other. I chalked it up to growing up and not sharing the same interests anymore. This was part of I guess we still felt somewhat connected because we would still be able to see each other's updates.

Thank goodness there was at least instant messaging applications such as MSN where you would have direct conversations with people. You could play games and connect with your friends and strangers at the same time. There was still a connection but it was different. It was kind of a more passive way of communicating with one another. You wouldn't have their faces to look at in fear of their reactions to your comments. A lot of people felt more free to express themselves in this manner. It was kind of interesting how we would connect a little closer with this platform but if we were actually with one another I'm not sure if some of these conversations would come to fruition.

Our relationships have changed from being in the company of one another to being together virtually. I'm aware of what's going on with their lives but there was a little disconnect that I can't truly understand. I guess you there's a different connection you can get with only words. Body language and inflection of your voice in conversations can have a big impact on conversations. It's also a little more cowardly to hide behind a screen.

Eventually MSN and all the other instant messaging applications were closed down in favor for platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat. This was a dark time because there was less of a connection to friends as many of us simply posted pictures or small messages. It was also frowned upon to post too much about yourself as it is to this day.

I guess there's only so much information you can get from pictures and a small message. You can see what's going on with people superficially but the deep conversation, body language and general aura isn't there anymore. At this point there is a bigger disconnect.

Fast forward even more years and the relationships have further diminish because there are even more social media platforms that people are enrolled to. To add to the mix people are generally just getting on with their lives. People get married and have kids, they don't have time for these types of things. There are obviously more important things.

I look at the differences that my generation has with my parents. They continued to call their friends and family all the time. They're aware of what's going on with their friends and family because they actually had conversations with one another. These conversations aren't simply 5 minute conversations either.

That's not to say I don't have these type of conversations with some of my friends but I find that in a way social media has kind of made me a little lazier than my parents. People aren't in my thoughts because I already saw a post from them to let me know what's going on with them. Although with the growing amount of social media platforms coming out maybe that absence of my friends will start to settle in.

To end it off I'm going to try to resist from joining anymore social media platforms so that the heart will become fonder from the absence of my friends. I'm hoping to call them up to see what's up and build a relationship with them just as my parents had with their friends. Let's see how well the old school route works.