Looking for a Reason

Note: names of co-workers have been changed for privacy

Something awful happened at work recently. An unexpected, tragic event which is not mine to share, but which has had a profound impact on our small team. For some of those directly involved, it has been debilitating, while others seem to be doing okay. Even those of us who didn’t witness the event have experienced a wide array of emotions; ranging from severe anxiety and fear to profound sadness, anger, or even impatience. Every member of our team has felt the effects of this singular event in ways I don’t think we could have anticipated.

Even before this happened, though, I’d been experiencing a lack of job satisfaction. I certainly didn’t hate my job, not by a long shot, but to say that I loved it would have been stretching the truth. Add to that the fallout from what had happened, and it’s safe to say that work has become pretty unenjoyable lately.

That’s why, when this challenge was posted, my first reaction was to give it a miss. “Finish this sentence: ‘I love my job because…”. I couldn’t conceive of a way to meet that criteria without either; lying, resorting to extreme sarcasm, or ignoring the prompt altogether and writing the exact opposite. I was determined not to write something superficial and banal, just for the sake of entering a challenge. It would be honest and authentic, or it would not be written. I decided not to participate.

But then, I went to work. Even as I’d made the conscious choice not to write this piece, the cogs were slowly turning in the back of my mind. It took a few days, but I noticed something unexpected happening. As I unconsciously began looking for things to love about my job, I soon realised; I was finding them. Little perks I’d forgotten the value of; bigger things which were having a huge impact on me - all came together to form a whole lot of reasons that I loved the work I was doing.

In the end, not only did I have a list of real, legitimate reasons to love my job; I also found myself enjoying work a lot more. The things that I dislike about it haven’t gone away, of course - but they overshadow the good parts significantly less than they did a week ago.

I’m a customer service assistant, working in a petrol station owned by a massive company. My days are spent stacking shelves, serving all manner of people, and cleaning toilets. Here are just a few of the many reasons that I love my job.

Sweet Serotonin O’ Mine

It’s no secret that I struggle with my mental health. In the last few years, I’ve made huge progress, but there are still bad days. Days when it’s a struggle to drag myself out of bed, pull on a washed, but still-wet shirt which doesn’t quite cover up the fact that I haven’t showered, and arrive at work just in time to not quite be considered ‘late’.

I’ll admit it - there have been days when I’ve failed to do those things. In the early days especially, I called in sick once or twice and spent the day bed-ridden with guilt, shame and depression. Sometimes, a mental health day is exactly what a person needs. But mostly, I do manage to get to work. And that’s when the magic starts to happen.

With my co-workers, I can tell them I’m having a rough day. I don’t often go into detail, but it helps just to know that they get it. I’m not alone in struggling. But depression isn’t something I can share with customers. I’ve worked retail and hospitality jobs for so long, it’s almost second nature; the mask goes on and the customer service voice materialises out of nowhere. I smile engagingly, laughing and joking with the people who come through that shop door.

It’s all an act, of course, but the funny thing is; by the time my shift is over, my mood - my real mood - has changed. Not always, of course. There are difficult shifts. There are always days that drag; things go wrong, or they just...suck. But, for the most part, working to brighten the days of other people, tends to brighten mine.

Smells Like Team Spirit

This one could quite easily be the easy ‘cop-out’ answer; the failsafe. It would be so simple to just say “we are an unshakeable team” and claim that we are all united in making our workplace the best it can be. But remember, I promised this would be authentic.

The truth is much messier than that. The truth is, everyone has good and bad days. Sometimes, we fall out. Everyone gossips about everyone else; everyone gets annoyed with each other now and again. We all have people we look forward to working with, and people we have to grit our teeth and deal with.

Nonetheless, it’s the people that make this place work. When those tough days crop up, we pull together and get shit done. We get through it together and in doing that, we repair those relationships, connecting with those coworkers we’ve been struggling to understand. People drop by on their days off, just to say hello. That says a lot to me about the kind of people I work with.

Making new friends has never been something that comes easily to me, but there is something about the experience of witnessing someone tackle a blocked customer toilet with the designated ‘jobby stick’ that inspires lifelong goodwill. I have made work friends I can happily visit for a drink or two after a busy shift, and that is a gift I do not take for granted.

No Hopers, Jokers and Rogues

We get a lot of traffic in our store. Many are just passing through, but most are regular visitors grabbing fuel or a coffee as part of their day. They all have their idiosyncrasies, and interacting with a friendly face always gives me a reason to smile.

There’s the guy known as ‘Bunty’s* Farmer’, who comes in every Thursday and waits until Bunty is free to ring him up. They always flirt outrageously, but neither one has plucked up the courage to ask the other out yet. Each week, we all wait to hear the latest play-by-play retelling of their conversation with bated breath.

There’s the one that Martin* calls ‘The Joker’ because he tells the same awful joke every day. Every Saturday he asks if we sell Rustler burgers, and every Saturday he’s surprised when the answer is no.

And then there’s ‘Lightfingered’ Steve. I have no idea what his actual name is - that’s just what I call him. The initial outrage of the manager after discovering we were a little light on stock was soon replaced by fits of laughter. Over CCTV, we watched this overachiever calmly stuff 9 - yes, NINE - fillet steaks down his trousers, swiftly followed by 2 bottles of gin. I can’t help but think his wife must have been sorely disappointed when she realised what he was packing that night...

Supermarket Petrol Station Flowers

Okay, it’s totally possible that I’m outing myself with this last one. Each week, we throw away flowers - bouquets of cut flowers as well as potted plants. The gardener in me hates this, so I occasionally rescue a bunch of roses or an orchid.

That might seem like a minor thing, but a beautiful display of roses on my kitchen table is another small way for me to fight depression. I couldn’t afford to buy myself flowers each week, so my job provides me with just a little pop of colour on those grey days at home.

I actually came up with a lot more reasons to love this job, but the challenge is to write a story, not an epic novel. I’ll leave you with the cliff notes for my other reasons;

- It’s better than hospitality (except for the free, chef-made meals and the occasional lock-ins)

- I get to help people in a small way

- It builds frustration tolerance

- It keeps my body active and gives my mind freedom to think

- I learn more about what I want for my career with every experience, good or bad.

So, there you have it. All the things I love about my job, from someone who didn’t think they had anything to love about their job. Will it be a forever job for me? I don’t think so. Do I look forward to every shift? Definitely not. But truly, there are things I love about my job. It surprises me in a hundred ways; it challenges me and it has helped me grow. It has helped me to find myself and it will shape my future in more ways than I can fully anticipate.