LONELINESS KNOWS ME BY NAME

Loneliness is a feeling that many of us experience at one point in life. It’s the feeling of being disconnected, being alone, even when surrounded by people. It’s a universal experience, and in our modern world, it’s become a rapidly increasing behavior. Loneliness has a significant impact on our mental and physical health, leading many into depression, anxiety and a host for other issues. But it also has good impact on some individuals. For some, loneliness helps them to bring the best in them, it helps them harness their special abilities. While technology has made it easier to connect with others, nevertheless it’s not the perfect substitute for real human interaction. In my case loneliness knows me by name.

When I was younger, I used to think that being alone was the worst thing that could happen to me. I was usually surrounded by friends and family, never did I imagine that I will ever feel lonely. But the older I got the more my friends moved away, family members passed away or even lost our vibe due to change of age, then I found myself spending more and more time on my own. At first, I enjoyed the peace and quiet of being alone. I’ll spend my peaceful hours doing what I loved doing most. But as time went on, I started to feel that emptiness in my heart, like and endless dark pit. No matter how I try to keep myself and mind busy, there was this unremitting feeling at the back of my mind that something was missing. I just couldn’t ignore that feeling and the feeling of being alone made me keep to myself, so I didn’t speak to anyone about it.

Later on, I still had those disturbing feelings. Anytime I want to speak to someone about it, I just hear one voice in my head saying “No one actually knows you, they won’t understand how we are feeling” so I backed down and kept to myself. It was only later I realized that loneliness is now a part of my life. He was always lurking in the dark pit of my heart reminding that no matter how many people were around me, I would still be alone, no matter how many parties I go to, he’ll be my only friend. At first my schoolmates thought I was just being private, only a few of them knew it was beyond privacy.

So one faithful day after school, I decided I won’t let loneliness eat me up, so I decided to reach out for help from a schoolmate. Only then did I realize I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. Many people experience loneliness, and it’s not just something that happens to older or younger people, rich or poor or those who live alone. Loneliness can affect anyone regardless of your status or circumstance. You could be at a party and still be lonely, it’s just how it is. I tried to escape this loneliness, I looked to my left, looked to my right, didn’t find anyone to feel the void. In the dark corner of my room, there he was waiting for me to reach out.

But I’ve come accept that loneliness is a part of who I am, and it’s fine. It’s not something I should be ashamed of or try to hide. I’ve learned to embrace it, to use it as a reminder to reach out to others who might be going through similar phase of life. Loneliness might know me by name, but it won’t define me. I’ve found that by accepting my loneliness and talking about it with others, I’ve been able to form a more meaningful connections with people around. By being vulnerable, I’ve been able to trust and understanding with others and I’ve learned I’m not as alone as I once thought. We are all alone in this together.

So if you’re feeling lonely, try and reach out to people. There’s always someone out there to feel that void. Share your feelings to them, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Loneliness might know you by name, but don’t let it have control over who you are. Embrace it, learn from it and use it as a reminder to connect with the world around you.