Laugh

“Sir, Mr. Mike is eating my birthday cake. How should I stop him? ”

“Ask him this question “What are you eating? 100 times”

“Students, your examinations are round the corner.”

“Which corner? Right or left?”

“Why is he soaking polo mint in water?”

“He is playing water polo.”

“Can’t you see that you’ve been dismissed from the club?”

“Sorry, I just underwent an eye operation.”

“The soldiers are being sentenced to lifeimprisonment.”

“Why?”

“They can’t even read a simple sentence that says “Surrender only if your bullets run out.”

“Kevin is drinking coffee 8 times a day. Isn’t that bad for his health?”

“You are selling it to 1000 people a day. What do you have to say about that?”

“Who is your favourite teacher?”

“Ms Open Matilda.”

“She describes everything in detail.”

“Why are the fishes wearing helmets?”

“Because the fishes are hiding from the falling rouge satellite.”

“Never say no to me?”

“I know.”

“I told you not to say no.”

“Of course I know.”

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee.”

“Are you aware of the new policy? Can you tell me about it?”

“Yes I am, the old policy says never follow any new policy if it is old.

“The new policy says ignore old policy.”

“Who created this policy?”

“Our Chairman Mr. Poo Lee See.”

“Hey, did you receive my SMS?”

“No, I’m still checking my email for it.”

“What’s your name?”

“Oh Lim Picks.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the Olympics.”

“Why are the dinosaurs looking for lizards to eat?”

“They are on diet.”

“Why is Mr. Ice always having contact with the eye specialist?”

“He wants to put on contact lens.”

“The mountain climbers are searching for their country flag.”

“Where are they searching?”

“They’re at the bottom of the mountain.”

“He insulted me.”

“What did he do?”

“He told me to spell the word ‘insult’ in front of those small kids.”

“What are you cooking for lunch?”

“I’ll tell you after I’ve eaten lunch at your home.”

“Sooner or later David will resign his job.”

“Who will replace him?”

“Mr. Day Wheat”

“Who is he?”

“He’s the twin brother of David.”

“Mummy, father told me to write poem.”

“Copy from my ex boyfriends’ letters son.”

“The thief is suffering from amnesia.”

“What happened?”

“He forgot to leave a clue.”

“What is the lizard telling to the bee?”

“That it is tongue tied today.”

“Why are the fashion designers going to the graveyard?”

“They want to copy the designs of what ghosts are wearing nowadays.”

“Mr. Place is looking for a right spot?”

“He wants to eat burger without clothes.”

“Put on your invisible shirt.”

“That’s what I’m searching for the past 2 hours.”

“The scientists are trying hard to find the new virus”

“What’s its name?”

“Microscope.”

“When is your birthday?”

“Feb 29.”

“How old are you now?”

“5 years old.”

“What, you look like you’re 20 years old.”

“But, I’ve celebrated my birthday only 5 times.”

“Son, your mom wants you to become a doctor.”

“Why is it Dad?”

“Who knows what is she suffering from?”

“Why is the senior judge thinking so deeply?”

“He still doesn’t know who’s the actual criminal.”

“Why is Mr. Bamboo carrying a small pistol?”

“He exchanged his machine gun for a pistol.”

“Darling, I love you so much. Will you marry me?”

“That depends on how you perform tonight.”

“Where is the new toothpaste?”

“Mr. Vampire just stole it for his tooth care purpose.

“I don’t want any excuses from you.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t have stock anyway.”

“The gold price is shooting up.”

“That’s why my wife is so happy weighing her gold necklace.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“What do you want me to do then?”

“Withdraw money from your account, settle my debt and sign those surety documents.”

“Our local Hulk is painting himself red in color.”

“Why?”

“He just ate too many red chilies.”

“Doctor, my girlfriend is accusing me of stealing her luxury handbag.”

“Why are you telling me this matter?”

“I just sold that handbag to your nurse.”

“I’ll call the police.”

“But doctor, your nurse is actually a policeman’s wife.”

“The engineer is arguing with the new draughtsman.”

“Why?”

“The new draughtsman drew an old existing building.”

“Why is the tiger scratching itself so hard?”

“It wants to be free from stripes.”

“Why is the fashion store crowded?”

“A tribal group has invaded the store for new clothes.”

“Where is the latest audio CD?”

“It’s at the bottom of the 10000 CD pack.”

“The fashion designer is quarrelling with the beggar.”

“Why?”

“Because the beggar‘s clothes are more torn than the designer’s clothes.”

“Why are you sending me love letters even after my marriage?”

“I just want you to remember the word ‘divorce’.”

“Seven years ago, seven prisoners escaped from jail.”

“Where are they now?”

“Six surrendered but one is still not caught.”

“Who is he?”

“He’s the jail warden.”

“The UFO is entering our city.”

“Does it have a valid visa?”

“Why are you going to the swimming pool?”

“Today is polling day.”

“The white hen is hatching black eggs.”

“Why?”

“It had a love affair with that black crow.”

“Darling, I see fire in your eyes.”

“Don’t get worried, I’ll not smoke again.”

“Why is he holding those items in his house?”

“Those are his household items.”

“Why is that officer always in customary clothes?”

“He’s a customs officer.”

“Why are you guys sticking out your tongues?”

“We have won the 1 km marathon.”

“He’s very demanding.”

“What happened?”

“He wants even his address and mobile number printed on the demand draft.”

“Why is she always inside the bathroom?”

“She’s a bath suite designer.”

“I saw it. It was big.”

“What did you see?”

“His male machine.”

“The director is angry with the stuntman.”

“Why?”

“The stuntman refused to jump from a 1 meter wall.”

“You should not put on lipstick.”

“What then?’

“Put on sticky lips.”

“I don’t want piggy banks on this set.”

“Then, what do you need director?”

“Real Fat Ugly PIGS, do you understand?”

“What is the duration of this movie?”

“320 minutes.”

“Why is it so long?”

“The villain in the movie refuses to die.”

“This film is about tsunami.”

“Where are we going to shoot this movie?”

“100 kilometers under the sea.”

“He’s a systematic director.”

“Why do you say so?”

“He always spells the word action and cut.”

“Don’t tell this story to anyone again.”

“Why?”

“It’s already in the cinema magazines.”

“Sir, we need a dinosaur for this scene.”

“Change it to a horse.”

“But we really need a dinosaur; this movie is called JURASSIC BARK.”

“The actress is not cooperating with the director.”

“What happened?”

“She cries even before applying glycerin.”