Kindness From a Stranger

Why are so many of us quick to judge?

I always thought I was an open-minded, non-judgemental person until a chance encounter with an unexpected stranger taught me otherwise.

I say unexpected because this person was transgender.

In a country like India, culture and traditions form the framework of society. And while transgenders are a large part of this society, they are often treated as a nuisance.

According to Hinduism, transgenders have the power to bless or curse. And today, these people resort to knocking on car windows and crashing events, to collect money from people who still believe in their power. There is a mixture of negativity and positivity towards them.

Having lived in India for quite some time, I had never encountered these hijras (transgenders) before. I knew what I had to do if I did meet them. Give money and walk away.

After a particularly strenuous day at work, I was waiting for a friend by the road to pick me up for dinner. The pouring rain and the long wait at a late hour only turned my mood from bad to worse.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed three hijras walking down the road, stopping to collect money from bystanders. With their glittering sarees and makeup-coated faces, they were hard to miss. While people around me scurried past quickly trying to avoid them, I plugged in my earphones, pretending to be busy on my phone, hoping they wouldn’t notice me standing in the corner.

But of course, they noticed me.

Getting annoyed, I got my wallet out to see that I had only three twenty rupee notes left. While I grumbled about not having any money, the two who reached me first grabbed them before I could do anything.

By the time the third person reached me, I was agitated.

“Your friends took what I had. I only have twenty rupees left”, I said, unwillingly extending the money towards her.

My entire day’s frustration was triggered, and I was taking it out on this stranger unnecessarily. I didn’t need that money. I had more in my bag. But, I was angry about how the other two had snatched it out of my hands before I could react.

For a second, she seemed doubtful.

“Take it.”, I said, trying to get rid of her as quickly as possible.

She slowly took the money, walked a few steps, and came back to me.

Placing the money I gave into my hands, she said, “ It’s late. You don’t have any money for the bus. How will you get back home? Keep the money it’s okay.”

Suddenly, all my anger and annoyance disappeared.

As far as I knew, hijras were a menace. Everyone avoided them as they were well known to create commotion in public for money. Another form of begging some would say.

This stranger had put someone else’s need before her own. That money could have bought her that day’s dinner. I didn’t have a clue about her life, and yet here I was judging this person for the mere fact that she was different from me.

And she was giving me back twenty rupees that didn’t matter to me one bit but could have been a significant amount for her.

She didn’t know that I had money in my bag or that I didn’t need to take a bus since my friend was coming to pick me up. All she saw was a young woman, alone at night, with no money to get back home.

And she chose to be kind.

At that moment, I felt ashamed. I let my anger control me and reacted thoughtlessly. Because of previously conceived notions from society, I was quick to judge this person even though I had no personal experience with transgenders.

Convincing her to take the money, I looked at her walk away thinking about my own behavior.

A lot of us are like this. We proudly declare that we are open-minded and welcoming when, in reality, we still judge. Because we grow up learning that different is wrong.

On a day when everything was going wrong, this small act of kindness turned it around and gave me a valuable experience. One that I will always remember.

Being kind to everyone you meet.