It takes courage to face up to your shortcomings

Recently a friend came to me to talk, and said he was upset and depressed, but, it is the most trivial matter in life, and there are no big ups and downs of things, to put it in detail, but also because of the relationship with the boyfriend is not good, more complaints about the boyfriend, I want to mention two as a bystander, but she is completely inaudible, immersed in their thinking mode refused to jump out, I was unable to interject a word. So I'll act as a "trash can" well, keep silent and let her vent her frustrations. This friend of mine has always been the same, loves to complain, and loves to talk, but also particularly stubborn! Every time I want to give her some advice, it is often superfluous, she may want to say this bad emotion to be able to feel better inside, but she does not manage their own emotions, their shortcomings are also blind, after confiding in my way, will continue to repeat the same mistakes and continue to worry about similar things, but will not think about changing their thinking patterns, always trapped in their own The set limits of thinking inside. In the end, you have to say that others don't care about you, don't understand you, and always push the root of the conflict to others, without thinking about what you are doing wrong.

In fact, like my friend such a type of, I am me, does not want to make changes for anyone. Change, is only for themselves, never for others! Those who seem to be dashing my way to adhere to their views, most of them are more stubborn people, life is often not adaptable, inflexible, love to subscribe to rigid reasoning, and the things that are agreed upon often will not change! Success in the Chana Yayao; failure in the, stubbornly self-opinionated; inspectors, know the heart, to take the length of others, to improve their own; stubborn people, self-righteousness, arrogance, I do what I want.

In psychology, stubbornness or even obsession refers to people's inability to distinguish well between objectivity and subjectivity, reality and assumptions in the cognitive process. If one harnesses one's existing experience over reality and over-cements it, one becomes obsessive. Obsession is often its confusion about perception.

In the movie "The Sound of Music," Maria, an Austrian novice nun, grew up in a peaceful and friendly convent and was raised by ear so that she had a warm and cheerful personality, full of life, kind and natural to people, and full of love for life. In Salzburg, her happy, easy-going personality enabled her to successfully educate Colonel von Trapp's seven mischievous and loving children, making them happier and happier. One can imagine that if she had always educated the children in the Colonel's strict, stereotypical way, those children would have been unhappy, rebellious, and outwardly inconsistent, as they are at the beginning of the film. Maria also makes the colonel come out of his closed and stereotyped way, thus winning his respect and love.

In the meeting, knowing and intimacy of people, anything is possible to change. Many people in life are like this colonel, stubborn and stereotypical, and if she had not been infected by Maria and made changes, she would not have won Maria's heart.

We are anxious because of the stubbornness of others, and others suffer because of our stubbornness.

Each person in the long-term social life, due to their different educational backgrounds, and life experiences, will form an inherent, regular way of thinking. The way of thinking determines the quality and effectiveness of a person's work, life, and learning. In many cases, with the growth of age and social experience, people have formed a certain view of something, in the subconscious that set a protective barrier to their thinking, encountering others with different views and perspectives, will produce rejection, and difficulty to understand and accept. Many people around us often argue with others because of disagreements. It is not necessary to do so, the views of others and their views and do not find the middle of the balance, the topic can not continue, their step back also seems to be open and generous, if the other side is also stubborn people, it does not become a one-way bridge on the two sheep? No one is willing to give in, and in the end can only fall out, adding fire to their stomach. Stubbornness is not a smart way to deal with things.

Listen to other people's opinions, and do things my way people, often can not escape the troubles brought about by stubbornness. Properly listen to the views of others, if others have a better point of view than their own, but also to learn some new knowledge or thinking methods, appropriate compromise, can bring a harmonious interpersonal atmosphere, give up the unhelpful stubbornness, learn to listen and compromise, learn to transform and improve themselves.