It Doesn’t Matter To Be Brave if We Fail in Choosing the Right Person To Share Our Dreams Wisely

I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man? — Zhuangzi

No matter what your dream is, it is valuable and deserves respect. Interestingly, between this truth and the twisted perception of many judgemental individuals, there is a large space.

Those people easy to judge can either be antagonists — manipulators, abusers, bullies, suffering from a Personality Disorder endangering the community— or emotionally imbalanced intrinsically good folks, sadly enough.

To share our dreams with another is one of the bravest things we can do! Not to show off or hurt them, but to experience a deeper level of connection, of trust, of partnership. —Diana C.

It seems to me that this extract from Diana’s wondrous piece says it all! If the person with whom you are about to share your dreams is anything but capable of a deeper level of connection, trust, partnership, then there is no point in sharing with them at all.

Here is what happens when I don’t control my passion and talk about what matters to me with the wrong person:

I had a sleepless night; merely 2 hours. When he talks about my baby MiMi, he says ‘your cat’ even though I corrected him several times by stating she was my kid and had a name.

Can you guess what he is doing here?

He is trying to get into me by minimizing our bond and denying her the right to dignity and having a separate identity. It is called abuse and it is mean.

For some reason that I can’t remember, I shared with him that one of my non-profit dreams was an animals shelter.

“Isn’t it more urgent to have a shelter for people?”

The implicit message here is: human beings are superior to animals. That’s the belief all grandiose people cherish dearly.

“Both are important and urgent, but my priority number 1 is a shelter for animals since we stole their environment and that they struggle in living decently in the streets.”

“Some people are dying from hunger. Cats can always find a way to eat.”

“That’s right for some people; still, I believe they have more power and capacity to take care of themselves than animals. Again, it’s a matter of my priorities.”

“Do you mean that if you knew a sick guy, that his wife couldn’t find a job and that they had two kids to feed, you would still prioritize a cat over them?”

What I would have said to a decent human being is:

“It seems to me that it’s their responsibility when they decided to have kids, which doesn’t apply to animals.”

Fortunately, I caught myself at the last moment:

“I’m talking about the concept in general, but I can respect your feeling.”

“It’s not about the sentiment. We’re talking logic here and I wanna understand the point you’re trying to make!”

“Alright. Guess that I can’t answer your question then; I’m too tired.”

That was me disabling him here. The idea is to become stupid and not interesting to argue with. Not caring about his perception of me is what makes it feasible.

“Do you need to be in shape to reflect about this?”

I am curious to know whether you recognize this abuse tactic. If so, please leave it in the comments section, and let’s have some interesting discussion!

“Weird, isn’t it?”

I could see an evil smirk smile. After a while, he added:

“I hope there will be a time when most people will be having a pet; I’m already seeing some progress.”

“To me, they’re kids not animals of company.”

“What in the world is this out-of-context comment? How shall I have described it, according to you? Who do you think you are to judge me?”

“You can describe it however you want and I’d respect. I was expressing my reality. It has nothing to do with you, I’m afraid.”

“You didn’t even say ‘in my opinion’.”

He is using another strategy here to implicitly say, “How dare you correct me? Don’t you know how special I am?”

Can you give a guess about the technique name? I'm curious to know how many of you have already started the most required education to dive into this life without compromising one's sanity: psychological education.

“I know what I said.”

“Do you think your heart is softer than the rest of us?”

“I’m not comparing.”

“If it was the case, you would have adopted an ugly or sick cat instead of a beautiful and healthy one.”

“I didn’t choose her. She did.”

“I also consider my dog as my kid. I’m very attached to him and always wondering whether he is attached to me the same way.”

“I love MiMi deeply and wouldn’t mind if she didn’t reciprocate. I saved her from the streets for her, not for myself. I wasn’t even ready to become her human Mamma.”