Is There Love for People With Disabilities?

I have a disability - is there love for people like me? A delicate subject and it seems, of interest, what becomes a real "trend" - to write articles about people with disabilities and their love life, just as a kind of curiosity! But a person without a disability can often not understand the life of someone with a disability, whatever it may be.

That is why the articles on people with disabilities and their love life tend to be either full of childish encouragement: "we all find love" or full of prejudices, presenting people with disabilities as if they were a different species !!

So when you ask "I have a disability - there is love for those like me", be careful who you ask and especially what advice you choose to follow… Don't allow some who can't even imagine what it's like to be you and who you are absolute strangers to your situation to tell you what to do! It doesn't allow them to tell you stories to put children to sleep - but it doesn't allow them to steal your trust either!

I have a disability - is there love for people like me?

Living with a disability (whether sensory or motor) makes you visibly different, otherwise - and that will not change, because you will always have that disability.

There are two ways in which people without disabilities look at people with disabilities - they will either categorize at first "differently" and conclude that there is no "normal life" or the possibility of a love affair; or they will try to get to know the person, to see what it is outside of disability - but these people sometimes make the same mistake, namely to treat the person differently, with often exaggerated compassion (so the label "different" appears in this case as well).

When you type on the Internet "I have a disability - there is love for those like me", you will be able to read many encouraging tips, many positive ideas: "we all have a disability - some more visible than others, we are all different, we all find love", "If there is love, disability does not matter", "there is someone for everyone".

Some ideas give hope - the only problem is that your life as a person with a disability sometimes does not give you proof that these ideas are real!

Reading "if there is love, it doesn't matter the disability" can make you jump when so many people don't even get to know you really (until they come to love you) because they focus on your disability and differentiate you!

The reality is that having a disability puts you first in the "different", "different" category - and many times, because that's how many see you and treat you, and you will behave as such, emphasizing the disability.

Being different gives rise to more reactions from the "physically normal": avoidance - what is foreign, what is different, what is not understood, will give birth to many a kind of fear and so many will try to avoid a relationship (of any kind); compassion - because you are different, you are perceived as needing more help than others, and people will show you compassion; but they will often treat you as a person with a disability, not as a person (so it's hard to have a real relationship).

Another problem when you ask "I have a disability - there is love for those like me" lies in compassionate affection - whenever it does not happen to you that a person is your friend, but to feel that more than because you like his affection comes from compassion?…

And when you find an open person who looks at you differently than someone with a disability, who likes you, who you share a lot with, you may encounter another difficulty - that person may think that a relationship would be too difficult. that you become too addicted, that everything is too different to go (even if we think about the sexual aspects).

Why was all this said? Do you have to think "there is no love for people like me" and get used to the idea? Not!

By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive. Childish advice such as "you will surely find love, we all find it" etc. they have the advantage of making you more confident, but the disadvantage of making you simply wait, to hope without practically trying! What to try?

First of all, to become a better person! If others focus on your disability, don't do the same! Try to grow and focus on everything you can do, not what you can't!

Try to be as independent as possible - showing a person that you can often handle yourself is very important (because one fear is that someone with a disability will become addicted, will always need help)!

Second, communicate! Before looking for a partner, learn to relate - communicate with people, both disabled and non-disabled, learn how to talk and make them look different, not just as a man with a handicap. Make friends first, learn to interact, talk to others and make them forget about disability. Do not act as if the disability you have has affected you as if it dominates you and insists that you are not always treated specially

Third, get to know as many people as possible! On the Internet, but also face-to-face. Look for groups of people with disabilities - in which you will not be seen as different. Relate on the Internet - you can try, although not a completely honest method, to get to know someone, to talk and get to know each other better, to see if there is a connection and only then to tell them about the disability (although maybe it would be simpler to say directly).

Fourth, learn to appreciate yourself - no matter how hard you try! Don't always expect failure and don't think that you don't deserve someone! Maybe a relationship with you involves some disadvantages - but you have so many other things to offer, which you should know and show to the other. And if you form a relationship, try to show that you are neither addicted (physically or emotionally) nor dominated by disability…

Thus - there is love for everyone, with or without a disability: but a person with a disability has the disadvantage of having to work extra, to accept and learn how to live with his disability, how to cope and become more independently, to realize that he is perceived as different and especially to learn how to change that, how to make others see him as the same…

And as a love affair, depending on how difficult your situation is and how easy your relationship is, maybe it's easier to look for people who live what you live and who know how it is, who understand and who have in common with keeping the experience - in a word, people with other disabilities.

This is because such a person will understand you and will look much easier behind the handicap - he will look at you; while, unfortunately, a person without a disability will often never forget about it and will treat you differently (even in a positive way - always helping you, even though you don't always need help and treating you like a child)!