Is There A Honeymoon Phase in Friendships?
Do the rules of love apply in all relationships?
We've all heard of the honeymoon phase in relationships. Whether you have experienced it or not, it's the period right when you first meet or fall for someone - everything is wonderful and roses and pink. It feels like nothing could break the two of you up, and nothing probably can at this point. People become attached in the honeymoon phase, it's just the way it is.
Think about a relationship that's not romantic - friendships. Do you think there's a honeymoon phase in these relationships, a time when the two of you are inseparable and nothing could go wrong? It sounds wonderful, and I think it's a reality. The good friendships feel like the honeymoon phase all the time, and they say that about good relationships too.
I've certainly had a few friendships where everything was great for a while, and it all felt fantastic and perfect, like you two were made for each other. Two peas in a pod. And then at a certain point, things start to... disintegrate. Sometimes they crumble, sometimes they fade. But things get worse and worse until the friendship is over.
It's unfortunate that things have to change in relationships, but they do, just like in life. As people grow older and change, so do circumstances and 'the way things were' turn into 'the way things are'. But when I reflect on the friends that I've lost, there definitely was a phase where everything was perfect and great between us and we never fought.
I would beg the question, how do you stay in the honeymoon phase forever, but is that really what you want? No, you want to be able to turn what you have into something long lasting and stable. So - how do you do that, in friendships and romantic relationships alike?
Obviously, not all relationships that start with the honeymoon phase end in disaster. We all have great friends that started wonderfully and turned into something more stable. Maybe we have a relationship like that, or know someone that has a relationship like that.
I'd say that the key to keeping things stable is communication - anytime something goes wrong that you feel can be resolved without disaster, you should talk about. In some situations, things go wrong and your words aren't constructive. I think that in that case, it's better to keep your mouth shut. Use discretion in the words that come out of your mouth - you should be able to tell this person everything, but you should want to make sure you're not saying things that would hurt them.
It's all about looking out for the other person, and not just yourself. Make sure you stick up for yourself, but stick up for your buddy too. Look out for their emotions, their heart, their mind, their soul. Not control, but keep an eye out for your friend to make sure that all things are well in their life. Stay involved. Force yourself in if they push you away when they're sad.
The best friendships I had were the ones where we were involved in each other's lives, because that's the way relationships work. A relationship is stronger when both people are actively involved and committed to the other person and the relationship and making things better.
This shouldn't be discouraging. All honeymoon phases have the potential to turn into stable and healthy relationships, and stable and healthy friendships. Communicate in whatever way you can (even if it has to be virtual) and remember to be involved and supportive with the other person. During this global pandemic, you can stay connected to your friends via the app HouseParty, which is a video chatting app that allows you to chat with multiple friends at once. It's free and easy to create an account! Stay home and stay connected!