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Is It Ok To Live A Life Without Socialising And Dating?

You are not weird if you enjoy a lot more time being alone.

By Life LessonPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 4 min read
Photo by Nick Kwan from Pexels

“What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.” — Ellen Burstyn

She — a pretty sweet face in her early 30s, slim and proportionate body frame, well-dress, exudes a sense of classiness.

After completing her university degree she felt she is not carved out as an office worker, hence she opened an online store and sell antiques for her living.

Her daily life revolves a lot around the internet. Besides managing her online store, she will be producing music in her leisure time. She hardly steps out of her home.

She recently moved into this historical apartment in the city. Many people felt that this apartment is too old to live in, though it’s located in the heart of the city where it’s very convenient.

However, she had a different opinion of this, she felt that she can transform it to be a cozy home with a vintage feel. She has the soft spot for all things vintage.

She renovated and redecorated the old apartment and turned it into a cozy home that exudes classiness, just like her.

She purchased all her vintage items mostly from the internet partly for her online store and partly for her own collections. Many of the items are from the 1960s or 1970s era from both East and West.

Her musical talent and love for music have carved her a career as an independent music producer over the years.

Photo by Ksenia Chernaya from Pexels

Her Beliefs

There are only two inhabitants in this apartment, she and her little cute Bichon Frise breed dog.

She doesn’t think that one should live life according to society’s norms. Instead should live life following your rule, what makes you happy and feel fulfilled, without harming anyone else. To her, a woman need not necessarily live the life of being a wife and mother.

Being partnerless and not socializing is perfectly ok for her. She really likes being at home and doing the things that she enjoys. She feels liberated with total freedom when she is alone.

She has a rather different view as compared to those around her age group. She is not active on social media and has hardly interacted with her circle of friends since her university days.

Unorthodox Believers

Many people are afraid of being lonely, being partnerless is perceived as a social stigma. They feel they have to follow society’s standards to not feel left out, or try to be accepted as part of society.

Some of my friends don’t live a totally isolated life but prefer more alone time. They prefer to spend say 80% ME Time and 20% WE Time during the day or week. They can be totally enjoying their ME Time but when coming to WE Time they can be a total extrovert and be the life of the party.

To them, the ME Time is a large part of their lives, the WE Time is essential too as it also brings joy and happiness to them, but too much of it will annoy them.

Some of them have intimate partners but they still stay separately despite the closeness of their relationships. To them, they themselves are the leading actor in their lives, the rest like family, romance, or friendships come second.

Don’t get me wrong, they will support and stand up for their partners, family, or friends when needed or during emergencies. It’s just that they spend most of their time by themselves.

I also heard some married couples sleep in separate rooms. There’s nothing wrong with their marriage but it’s more for the health reason, e.g one of them couldn’t have quality sleep due to another one snores, or he or she is just a light-sleeper. They don’t want this to affect their quality of life.

To me some of the activities in life we enjoy best when we do alone e.g writing, meditating, etc., or even simply out of the reason of being convenient, as you do not need to accommodate others’ schedules or needs. You’ll feel your time is really well spent without wasting any time.

There are times it's best to spend with a more people e.g. birthday celebrations, festive seasons, holidays, etc. as the more the merrier, and double the joy! You will treasure each other more as you do not meet too often.

Final Thoughts

So is it ok to not socialize and not date?

I personally feel this is up to an individual’s personality. Some will be ok while some would feel depressed if they are being alone most of the time.

Some would set the preferred ratio of a ME Time vs WE Time which they feel comfortable with e.g. 80:20, 70:30, etc.

Such a ratio is possible only if you live alone and work from home, or if you are a working mom your ME Time could be as low as 10%, or not at all!

Once you start to enjoy the quietness of being alone, you would suck in it and never want to come out again. — Unknown

Are you addicted to being alone after a while?

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About the Creator

Life Lesson

Life inspirations and stories from my 50 years of journey on earth. Twitter @MLifeLesson 🚗 [email protected] ☘️

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Nice work

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