I remember hearing as a teenager that I was just in 'heat' as a reference to me liking a person. I remember the terms, puppy love and smitten. I even remember the word that I still use to this day, crush. (I have a crush on someone right now if we're being honest)
Growing up I realized that there quite a difference between loving someone and lusting over someone. They really can be mistaken for the other.
Webster's Dictionary tells us that love a feeling of deep romantic or sexual attachment. Love is a lasting feeling or emotion that goes well beyond the surface, there are layers to love. Love is emotional. Love is mental. Love is lastly, physical.
While Webster's Dictionary tells us that lust is having a very strong sexual desire for someone. In other words, lust is just a feeling of wanting to rip someone's clothes off and make a baby with them. Lust is not emotional. Lust is not mental. Lust is absolutely physical.
Here are just a couple of things that set Love and Lust apart from each other.
1. The way you think about them.
Love will have you thinking about this person day and night, not necessarily in the physical aspect. You think about their laugh, their smile, you think about the things that you can do to make them laugh or smile.
Lust will have you thinking about them also but you will be thinking about everything physical, their features, their body, the last time the two of you had sex or the next time the two of you will have sex.
2. The way that you spend time with them.
When there is love involved there are also dates, dinner, cuddling, possibly a little television watching. There is quiet time where nothing has to be said verbally because everything is being said mentally.
When in lust, your time is spent naked, whether it is in a bed, a shower, the car or on top of the kitchen counter...don't judge me. There is little communication outside of when is the next hookup?
3. Love takes time while Lust is impulsive.
Love is a marathon, slow and steady. When it is love, you don't mind that it is 22.62 miles to the finish line. You are willing and able to make that journey because you know that the reward at the end is well worth it. Having someone to trust you with their heart is well worth it.
Lust is a 100-yard dash, you have to get there and you have to get there fast. It is all about instant gratification. You only want to wait for the time in which it takes the two of you to get naked. The only thing that you trust the other person with is your body.
4. Love increases with time. Lust decreases with that same time.
The more time that you spend with a person when there is love involved, the deeper that love grows. Love is the desire for an emotional, mental and some times spiritual attachment. Love is the sharing of experiences with some that you can tell your secrets to. Love keeps a person. Love protects a person. Love reassures a person. Love is never boring.
Lust can get boring...fast. Because of the lack of layers in lust, that fire can fizzle out quicker than Britney Spears and Jason Alexander's 56-hour marriage back in 2004. There is nothing that is holding this 'ship' together and trust me it's not floating on much water and is bound to sink.
5. Lust is selfish while Love is selfless!
“When you lust for someone, you must have them. You need their body or presence in your life as if your life depends on it. Love is not possessive, though. You’ll certainly want someone you love in your life, but if their best life is found apart from you, then you want that for them. When you find that their well-being is a higher priority than your cravings, you’re in love.” ― Howes
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