Internet Dating

Internet dating is now a very competitive business. In this "jet" age, people always seem to be in a rush and everything is fast-moving. You get this impression when you see the ads on the TV—instant cereals and smartphones which can enable things to be done at a fraction of the time before the digital age. This needs no time to find the one thing that every human spirit longs for.... and that is love.

But why use these sites?

I'm sure every person who is, or was, single have been advised to "not look for love as it will come when you least expect it."

I imagine the younger singles have been out most Friday or Saturday nights "on the pull" hoping that they will meet the man or woman of their dreams in the pubs and clubs. Others have relied on getting their friends to set them up on a blind date while some just wait.... and wait... and wait until their prince or princess arrives.

Singles that are over 40 do not want to do as they youngsters do and try to take up evening classes on some subject which they may or may not be interested in. Ballroom dancing seems to be quite popular due to blokes who have to be in close proximity to women. Alternatively, they arrange dinner parties where singles and couples are invited. This is in hope that there will be "chemistry" between two kindred spirits.

For those who have not had a chance to find "the one" or for those who are not interested in the pubs and clubs, evening classes, mates setting you up, etc, there is the internet dating scene.

Well, I must confess, I have had experience of this prior to getting married (this is NOT how I met my wife by the way) and it has been a mixed bag to say the least! For those who have been on many dates via the various websites can tell you the good, bad, and damn-right terrifying stories that come with these dates.

In the past, I have had friends who have had success in meeting their life partner on the web. In the church that I attended, there was a single lady who was a teacher. She was looking to get married. She lived in Addlestone, Surrey. She found her now-husband in a place near Wales—170 miles apart! In fact, they got married the same day my wife and I got married! They now both still live in Addlestone. So, that, I would say is a success story.

But for me, I learned a lot about myself and it has been great fun. I have met some really weird and wonderful women which lead to meeting more people.

Well, the problem is that there seem to be no prescribed rules or protocols, or at least when I last did it (2005)—therefore when phone numbers are exchanged, you tend to have an extremely long conversation because you want to lay down the ground. Then it's the "when can we meet up" stage when you have to negotiate the date, time and venue. After that, you both decide whether it is dinner or the pub you wish to go to (or both). The cinema seems to be a viable option because you can sneak a snog if you are lucky! When all that has finished, you often go your separate ways and decide when you are going to meet again. Usually, the answer is "yes" from the woman, assuming he asked first. The "yes" usually means "yes, but I'm not sure." You both go home, reflect, then a week later the "yes" usually turns to a "no" either because (1) she's dated someone else more suitable, (2) gone back to the ex (3) does not know what she wants (4) wants to stay single for longer (5) ....feels she does not like you enough!

Then the process starts again... email... chat... chat... chat... meet... meet again... Ah! You've got a second date. NOW you may think you're onto a winner here. Second date goes ok... then it is usually, from the woman "I've had a great time and had a great two dates. You're a lovely guy but..." By that stage, one loses interest. You are friend-zoned! Got the consolation prize! She will contact you as a friend until she starts seriously dating a jerk which treats her like dirt and you will be the shoulder to cry on! She breaks up with him and you think... yippeee... now's my chance! By that time she has gone to the next jerk and guess what? You are the shoulder to cry on (again).

Oh, the joys.

To conclude, a piece of advice to the singles who are looking. While dating, have fun whilst doing it and not just focus on finding "the one." The girl that has friendzoned you may open a door and introduce you to someone else and you never know! Also, if you are travelling quite far for dates, you get to discover more of the country and you might think... well... I may like this area... perhaps I'll move here.

So, the answer to the question is "do they work?" My answer—yes it does but it depends on your attitude towards it. If you are open minded, you'll get positive things out of it but if you are just focusing on finding "the one," okay... you may be fortunate to do so but your experience of it will not be so positive.

Guys, please do not leave a lady waiting in a bar on her own like the photograph above. It is very embarrassing for her.

Happy dating!