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In intimate relationships

The most damaging behavior

By Thai Sha NaPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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In intimate relationships
Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

The things that consume intimacy are nothing more than these, such as not loving anymore, loving enough, or never loving at all.

Never loved, it is very understandable, for example, the meaning of being together, purely for the sake of marriage and marriage, to take care of the family business, catering to the parent's wishes, to complete the life event, to enhance the career, etc., such intimate relationships, the longer the tendency to depart, after all, the beginning is a win-win situation in the interests, and love has nothing to do with half, together because it is profitable, not together because the purpose has The reason for not being together is because the purpose has been achieved.

The first thing that you can do is to find out that you are not suitable for each other after you have experienced certain things, such as different outlooks, opposite lifestyles, social attitudes, large gaps in consumer goods, etc. At the very beginning, you do have the expectation of happiness, but after you have experienced the friction and gotten along, you find that you are not fully compatible with each other, and the more you try to adapt, the more you want to separate.

The fact is that the love is no longer love, is from the heart of the change, the previous love is true, now not love is also true, in love with another person is the fact, the surface excuses that a moment did not control, or a variety of excuses, but is no longer love to find the stage.

The most damaging behaviors in intimate relationships are these three: betrayal; violence; and calculation.

Intimate relationships, the most damaging behavior, when these three

Intimacy

[01]

Betrayal

Betrayal, including physical and spiritual betrayal.

As long as two people love each other, any kind of betrayal is unacceptable. The people as long as they love, will have the desire to be exclusive, exclusive thoughts, jealous tendencies, this is undoubted.

People who are happy to share their love are not really in love with you, but anyone who truly loves you wants to enjoy your love and affection alone, and anyone's participation is a kind of competition.

The lovers who are together purely because of the benefits are still a minority, relatively speaking, the lovers who are together because of love still account for the majority, as long as there is love in, betrayal will always belong to the natural enemy of intimacy.

Some people may say that it is just a momentary impulse, or drunkenness, as long as it does not involve spiritual betrayal, are okay, as long as the other party apologizes sincerely, admit fault with a good attitude, can forgive on forgiveness this idea is a little self-deception.

A person's only love is not deep enough, he will not be able to restrain himself, if he loves a person like life, then how will he take his life as a child?

Betrayal is betrayal, do not find any reason, too many excuses are very despicable.

【02】

Violence

Violence, including verbal violence and behavioral violence.

For example, if I punch you hard, you'll be fine in four or five days, and the skin will regenerate and turn into a scar. After a month or two have passed, you will forget about the pain. But I used harsh language to you about a certain aspect of defects or shortcomings and other sarcastic and ridiculing words, it is easy to attack you, and even hurt your heart, perhaps two or three years later, you look back on these, still as painful as what happened yesterday, physical injuries are easy to heal, however, the heart of the wound even if later will be relieved, but the memory is also difficult to zero erase.

In the end, the harm caused by verbal violence will have a memory, while the harm caused by behavioral violence will only have a brief trace, and the past will be well, healed, and gradually forgotten.

The fact is that you can find a lot of people who have been in the business for a long time.

However, some physical problems, the fight over, will be relieved, the emotions issued, also eliminated the anger, do not fight do not know each other well. As long as the physical encounter is in a reasonable range, people are tolerant, and not too aggressive there will be no hatred and disconnect, no frequent physical disagreement, or hurting each other's vitals, everything is okay.

In intimate relationships, the killing power of verbal violence is great, once bred, is a lifetime of traces, it is difficult to empty, because the language is more easily remembered, and is a long memory.

Words hurt the heart, while actions hurt the body. The body's memory is very short, and the wound is good, at most leaving a scar, however, the heart's memory is very long, the heart wound there is no good and bad, only profound and thin difference.

【03】

Calculation

From the beginning to the end, it has always been in the weighing of pros and cons.

All the sweet moments of the two, but is done for outsiders to see, like a pair of actors, all kinds of show love and sun happiness they have in the end so sweet and happy, and only they know best.

Perhaps in private they, even calmly and peacefully speak a word is difficult, let alone arm in arm together, are non-existent, those happy images are just driven by business interests, they are together from the beginning, have their purposes, he for their family business, she for some other pursuit, always each carrying a dream, always in bed together.

The more they calculate each other's intimacy, the more they can be close and distant, all sorts of things have a chapter to follow, rarely excessive, they follow the principle of profit first, like business negotiations to get along, never talk about love, even involving private things are rarely, even together to eat a meal, have to talk about the price, he invited her to dinner, she has to make what concessions, she agreed to accompany him to dinner, he has to pay something for the price.

The division of interests, they will have a professional division, seldom therefore unpleasant, because it has always been a partnership, as for the love well, almost will not be involved.

Talking about money is vulgar, but in the relationship, only talking about money, or only being involved in the interests, is very hurt feelings, in other words, simply can not love, even if one party tends to move, this intimate relationship is difficult to continue, because the purpose is too strong so that people are difficult to accept.

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Thai Sha Na

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