Important Questions to Ask An Ungrounded Person

We live in a busy world.

There are so many shiny things, noisy things, and beautiful things that can take us out of the present moment. They can be super inspiring but they can also be distracting and even overwhelming. 

There's deadlines, work duties, exams, meetings, family commitments, kids, stress, money worries, relationship dynamics, body image, health, keeping up with friends, current news, politics, social media, videos, Netflix, conversations, driving, housework, and all the other million and one things that fill up our days.  

As intoxicating as they all are, they can also leave us feeling over-stimulated and ungrounded, or at least I can, anyway. 

That's where the following three questions come in very helpful. They provide a special moment of reflection and even a little humour too. 

So, here goes. 

1. What thoughts are thinking you right now?

"You do not know where your decisions come from. They pop up like hiccups" - Alan Watts 

Although thoughts are very personal, they're also not. They're also just happening. 

They can be beautiful and berserk. Warm or wild. Humorous or humiliating. They can also completely consume us if we're not careful. 

But where do they come from? And are they ours? 

Food for thought

Unbelievably, we think about 50,000 thoughts a day. To put that into perspective, there are only 86,400 seconds in a day so that means that we think a thought about every one and a half seconds or so. 

However, even more mind-boggling than that is that of those 50,000 thoughts, only 2% of them are new. 

What that means is that 98% of all the thoughts that you and I think today are the same thoughts we thought yesterday. 

To geek out on this some more… 

2% of 24 hours is 30 minutes. 

So, for the other 23 and a half hours that make up a day we're bringing the past into the present. 

And as thoughts are so linked to emotions, what we think and how we feel today is probably a good reflection of what we thought and how we felt yesterday. 

So, becoming aware of just a fraction of those thoughts can reveal great insights into the health of our hearts and minds. They can show us how we're feeling, what's running our lives, and what's driving our desires/aversions. 

If nothing else, the simple act of observation can provide a window into the unbelievable speed and efficiency of our brain. 

We can sometimes even find a sense of peace in there too. 

Top tip: Imagine your thoughts are on a conveyor belt that is moving through your mind. Create space between your thoughts by holding the position as the observer. Simply observe the conveyor belt moving through your mind, allowing each thought to pass without attaching yourself to anyone in particular. Keep a keen interest on how each thought feels in the body too. 

2. How are you breathing? 

Among the 50,000 thoughts, we think in a day are some 15,000–20,000 breaths. That's how many breaths we breathe every day but how many are breathed with awareness? 

As the breath can speed up or slow down, become more tense or more relaxed, it has the ability to speed up and slow down, make more tense or make more relaxed everything else in the body too: from our heart to the speed of our thoughts to the temperature of our body and to our emotional well-being. 

This is the power of the heart/brain/breath connection. It works because the breath directly influences the nervous system and whatever message(s) it carries it gets spread throughout the body via the pathway of nerves that connects all cells together. 

So, simply asking how am I breathing is in fact asking the heart, brain, and nervous system how they are feeling too. 

The breath provides a fascinating window into our emotional body for this reason. It often reflects how we're feeling on a moment-to-moment basis so becoming aware of it can be a great support in times of uncertainty. 

We breathe 15,000–20,000 times a day and every breath counts. Here are tools and techniques to create healthy breathing…medium.com

3. What sensations are you experiencing in your body right now? What does _______ feel like? 

Sensations in the body are another great tool to come into the present moment. After all, they are happening right now so what's more real and present than each passing sensation? 

After recognising what sensations are in the body, you can ask the second question and fill in the gap with what's appropriate. 

For example, if I recognise the sensation of heat in my right arm or numbness in my left foot, I can ask what does heat or numbness feel like and then curiously ask what the qualities of each sensation(s) are. 

Again, become the observer here. Try not to attach yourself to any sensation in particular, especially the good and bad ones, but rather just go into what each sensation feels like. 

I've found that even gross sensations like pain and nausea lose their strength when I sit with a surrendered curiosity. 

It's like a silent superpower that we can all access at any moment. 

Closing thoughts

A beautiful practice to accompany these questions is the practice of 50/50. 

Most of us can't pause and reflect in quiet contemplation much of the time but all of us can track our internal experience as much as our external one. 

That's the practice of 50/50. 

It focuses on keeping awareness on both worlds simultaneously. 50% of our awareness remains on work duties, conversations, housework, driving, etc… while the other 50% remains on any thoughts, sensations, and emotions that are arising. 

By holding both worlds in awareness at the same time, there's often more curiosity than attachment and more open acceptance than closed judgement.

So, I'll ask you again now - what thoughts are thinking you right now? How are you breathing? And what sensations are you experiencing in your body right now? What does _______ feel like? 

"Without a good question, a good answer has no place to go" - Clayton Christesen