If your friend seems wiser than you ... she probably is

I’ve been very lucky with my friends over the decades. I mean every decade and I mean girlfriends. In primary school there was Helen, she had just the same sort of “weird” that I had. We fidgeted awkwardly on our chairs at school much to the teachers annoyance, hated maths ...we rode our space hoppers everywhere, and made families of animals and insects out of felt, we were inseparable. I was heartbroken when she moved away. I met her a few years later, she hadn’t changed... but I had. I was so grateful for her at the time, but it seemed that we had grown up at different rates. Suzanne and I had a rocky start to our friendship.. but again we just clicked, bringing out the crazy in each other, doing what we weren’t supposed to...playing truant, smoking and drinking spirits till we threw up, to name a few things... Due to the “magic” of Facebook I am “connected” to her still. We do live on opposite sides of the globe at this point ...Do I know anything about her life now.. ? no, not really. Friendship and Facebook, hmm,is it controversial to say Facebook doesn’t really enhance real life? The friend from school I will still message occasionally after knowing her for 45 years ...was another who just happened along with what I needed at the time. Her positivity was infectious and countered my then very pessimistic nature. We had a lot of fun... we danced and double dated. Life was more colourful and exciting with her. She is the one that is with me all this time, but again not in person. On the other side of the world, yet again. But at least she is still in this world ... my closest so loved friend... isn’t any longer. Anna was the kindest person and had access to such wisdom for a teenager ...she loved people and always saw the best in them. She just about saved my life really.. many times..Some people didn’t always treat her in the way she deserved, but that was very rare... until she ran into a workplace bully. By that time we were both married... and were not so close any more ...but she had become close with another girl from our school in the same line of work as her, so they supported each other. She always did make time for me still. I often wonder if there was a connection to the considerable stress that was caused to her by her cruel bully to her shock cancer diagnosis. Anna died aged 29.

SUPPORTING A BOLD MOVE

I found that wherever I went I managed to run into the kind of friends that gave me what I needed at the time, and I guess I did this for them too. A move as I’ve mentioned..to the other side of the world where I knew no one, well it was a bold leap, but we’d only been there 5 minutes before thoughtful and practical friends appeared from nowhere. Through the years more appeared from the school gates, through to Uni courses and work. I find that that many if not most fade away, but that does not diminish their importance or mean that a change in circumstances would not summon them back. One of my closest friends now, thought that description under Melbourne Lockdown restrictions, does not mean actually “in person” close at the moment.... is someone very much younger than me , but she is SO much wiser. She has helped me through a difficult time, self inflicted ... I’ve done well through listening to her advice and counsel... not so well when I don’t. We also jointly brought an amazing new venture to fruition... it probably would never have happened if one or other had not been on board. I have other friends from that time who have provided support and a listening ear and I value them also, but my young wise friend has seen and heard of some of my less than sterling choices .. and supports me still, even though she really does not agree with some of my actions, that others might be more relaxed about. But she’s probably right. I do tell her I’m trying but I guess we all have it in us to backslide a bit. The fact that she’s ok with that I really value.

PANDEMIC BLUES

This has been a crappy year for everything... of course. Never in the history of friendship, families or relationships has so much separation and over reliance on technology been imposed on us all. All we want to do is sit in a cafe and have a cup of coffee and cake. I for one can’t wait to catch up with my wise friends, what is written in messenger is never and I mean NEVER as good as seeing someone in real life.

THANK YOU

I am full of appreciation for my friends even the ones who are not overseas, because this year they may as well be. I miss them and realise how much we take for granted when things are “normal” We have to hold on a while longer before we can get back true connectedness with our wise friends.