I Slapped My Husband And He Hit Me Back (I Slapped My Husband And I Feel Horrible)

Nowadays it is all too common to hear about marital conflicts. Typically, one spouse says something that irritates the other. Voices are raised, tempers flare, igniting an emotionally charged argument with caustic remarks. Even simple discussions can quickly veer off and deteriorate into volley of insults and accusations. Then silence comes refusing to talk to each other. When anger subsides, comes the exchanging of apologies until the next fight bursts again. If your marriage is plagued with such arguments, what can you do?

1) Take an honest look at how you as an individual might be contributing to the problem. Are you easily provoked? Are you argumentative by nature? What would your spouse say about you in this regard? This last question is important to consider, for you and your mate may have different views about what constitutes being argumentative.

2) Simply being aware that you and your mate have different communication styles can help prevent misunderstanding. Remember, too, that arguing does not always involve shouting; even whispered words can be argumentative if they are irritating or demeaning. So instead of throwing the blame on your spouse, try to see yourself and make adjustments.

3) Learn to listen to your spouse, respect his viewpoint and respond in a loving manner. If your mate is distressed over something, you should share the feeling. Endeavour to look at the matter from his or her perspective.

4) Be understanding. In the heat of a disagreement, it is so easy to react impulsively to every sharp word that is uttered by your spouse. Usually, though, this only serves to escalate the argument. Hence, when listening to your spouse, make it your determination to hear not only the words being said but also the feelings behind the words. Such understanding will help you to see past personal annoyances and get to the root of the problem. Of course, each couple may have a different way to address things. The point is that when matters become subjects of contention, understanding will slow down your anger and enable you to perceive the real issues at hand.

5.) Be careful on what you say and how you say your words. When you and your spouse are caught up in a disagreement, do your words hurt or do they heal? Do they build roadblocks, or do they pave the way for peace? As we have already seen, angry or impulsive responses only stir up arguments. If a disagreement deteriorates into a verbal boxing match, put forth more effort to stick to the point. Focus on the cause, not the person. Be more concerned with what is right than who is right. Be careful that your words do not fan the flames of fire. Yes, what you say and how you say it may make a difference in whether you elicit your mate's cooperation or not. Your aim is to resolve, not to win. Your goal is to find a solution rather than a victory.

Save Marriage Problems For When They Really Matter

Not Every Issue Deserves to Result in an Argument...Learn to Choose Your Battles Wisely. Some husbands and wives make the mistake of allowing every little disagreement to become a huge issue. Instead, learn to save marriage problems for the issues that are truly important. Below is some advice to help couples learn to do just that.

Expect to Disagree

If you go into marriage expecting to always see eye to eye with your spouse then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It is just not realistic to think that you will always agree. If you expect such disagreements then you will not be so surprised when they come up which will make you better able to deal with them in a way that will not cause excessive arguing in your marriage, and let you save marriage problems for the more serious issues that may come along.

Be Willing to Compromise

Adults are supposed to understand that they cannot always have their own way. This basic truth holds true in a marriage. You must be willing to give in sometimes. If you always demand your own way then you are not going to have a happy marriage. Is your spouse so unimportant that he or she never deserves to have his or her way on any issue? Do you want to be the ruler in the relationship or do you want a partnership? If you think you want to be the boss then understand that you are setting yourself up for a miserable marriage that will likely end in divorce. There must be compromise in order for a marriage to survive.

Choose Your Battles

If couples could properly apply this principle, it would be so much easier to save marriage counseling for the issues that deserved such attention. As mentioned earlier, some husbands and wives turn every little thing into a major argument. That is very childish behavior and is not conducive to nurturing a healthy relationship. Some couples actually spend money in marriage counseling talking about how he didn't take out the trash or she talked too much while he was watching the game. They are essentially spending hundreds of dollars an hour to discuss the trash.

Instead, couples need to learn to look at the big picture. Yes, the trash needs to be taken out, but would you be willing to walk away from the marriage over it? If not then do not engage in behavior that could, potentially, harm the marriage. Save marriage battles for the issues that are truly important.

Learn to Apologize

Learning to apologize is another important skill that can help couples save marriage troubles for only the most serious issues. Some men and women are so stubborn that they do not apologize even when they know that they are wrong. Such behavior is unhealthy and contributes to feelings of bitterness and anger. Instead, learn to admit when you are wrong. Doing so can often put a quick end to arguments and allow the couple to move on.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage