I Pushed Him Away By Being Too Clingy (I Acted Crazy and Pushed Him Away)

Relationships are a fountain, of ecstasy and pain, and sometimes simultaneously. When a relationship ends, we are faced with the choice to move ahead or try to retrieve a broken bond. If you are the one who made the decision to leave, then the following advice will be useful in the next relationship, unless you realize that it was a mistake and you are feeling like crying out "please save my relationship." In any event, a broken relationship is like being thrown from a horse on to the hard ground. Are you going to get up and get your boyfriend back or get your now exboyfriend back, or cave to your pride and fear?

If you consider your broken relationship worth fighting for and are willing to put in the effort to make it work, there is a good chance you can win a guy back. Here are some helpful tips to help you along that journey.

Review your past.

Was your relationship based on your need for his company or your desire to fulfill his empty place. If you are selfish then that will be indicated by your need not his. Perhaps he saw you as clingy or jealous Jealously results from fear of being replaced so anger and suspicion becomes a primal response. At this point re-evaluate your position and realize that he has needs that you fill in a unique way. Then you can hold you head higher and he will respect you in a new way.

Of course, we all fail to be perfect but that does not excuse bad behavior. Saying "Nobody is perfect, I'm only human.", might satisfy you but it won't get your ex boyfriend back if he blames you for the breakup. So look at yourself from the eyes of others. Ask yourself, if someone were to look at my actions, word and attitudes, were they good and appropriate or did I look childish, selfish, rude or inconsiderate. Would anyone on the outside (besides his new girlfriend or one that wants to be) say they wouldn't blame him for leaving you because of your bad behavior? With these new glasses on, did you do or say things that you now regret? Okay, it happens. You can't change the past so move on.

Identify your mistakes, admit your faults and ask forgiveness. Don't plead because you need to win a boyfriend back, but because you want to be clear and honest for the wrong you are responsible for. Remember he will lose ground if he has no room to blame you for the breakup anymore. If your relationship was based on mutual desire for each other's company, he will see your action as an honest acknowledgement and respond to the truth.

You will likely get a second chance to restore the relationship if you honestly admit your faults. Don't blow the shot, if the relationship is worth having. Plan ahead. Think about the things you will say and how you will act. Gut responses are rarely winners as you are visceral and generally say and do things that you will regret later. Since we are here because of bad behavior why repeat it with something stupid in the heat of the moment.

Communication

Communication is the glue that holds relationships together It is vital that people have open communication that encourages full disclosure. Hidden feelings and unexpressed hurt act as a cancer the will prevent you from the rescue of your relationship.

When he speaks, are you listening or hearing and waiting to a chance to speak to explain? Are you interested in hearing him because of him or in spite of him? If you are attentive he could ask you, "What did I just say"? and you would not only repeat the words but the reason he said them. If you don't understand him you will lose him again.

What if he doesn't respond?

So let's pretend he doesn't respond, there are at least a couple reasons. First he may not be able to cope with your conciliatory attitude, and he may have justified his own bad behavior based on your behavior and therefore finds himself feeling guilty when you come and admit your mistakes. He will have a difficult time because of his pride. Give him time. Or, he may have already moved on emotionally and considered the relationship dead and buried. Even then, the relationship is not dead, and the last chapter of the book hasn't been written. Because you are able to demonstrate the qualities that attracted him in the first place he will see you differently. Again, it just may take some time for him to come around.

If you care for him, don't let an expectation of immediate reconciliation keep you from having it, if it takes a little longer than you hoped. Hang in there and keep acting right. If nothing else you will have a clear conscience.

What else can I do?

Show him you are sincere in wanting to work things out. Be interested in his interests but don't sell your soul. Give him space. If you are clingy he will resist and you will find yourself alone again.

Be attractive and pleasant. You don't have to be a super-model but always try to look your best and be positive. Who wants to snuggle up to a hag. A beautiful, self-assured independent woman is always attractive to a man. You would be surprised at some of the homely women that men run off to be with because they were pleasant.

Be a friend. Are you the kind of friend you would want to have or are you critical and self-serving. Do you respect and admire him or do you just use him to satisfy your needs. Are you fun or are you an emotional drag? Do you give energy or take energy to the relationship? Figure it out, which would you prefer to be around, a person who is energetic or one who is like a decaying piece of meat.

Be supportive. Support his down times and allow him to be emotionally vulnerable without telling everyone else about it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than eroded trust from revealing a confidential emotional moment. If you care about getting your ex back you ought to shield them from the embarrassment of shared secrets. Always remember that in this life of endless battles, we have to be mature and sometimes the things worth having are worth fighting for. No one said the fight would be easy either. Just work on being the best you that you can be and in time hopefully you'll have him back in your life and in your arms where he belongs.

These tips are universal if you know someone who wants to get back a girlfriend, or get back a wife or husband, or perhaps you only had one week to save a marriage these are some of the fundamental tools you can use. Like any tool, the sweat of hard work, maybe the pain of some blisters caused by friction, and regular sharpening are necessary for the best results. Unless you decide to start you won't finish and the regrets will be all yours. So get out there and do it. Be strong and tender, honest and loving. Captivate his heart with what he saw in you before.

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