I'm sorry, I love you.

Jamie stared out across the reservior one last time before he rose to his feet and made his way along the narrow path towards the quarry. The quarry had been used to build the reservoir almost 70 years ago when the local district had been forced to reconsider the water system in Yorkshire. It was a steep drop, easily about a 90 feet. The rocks were jagged and sharp, deadly. Each rock was a slightly different shades of grey from the next. Some were almost jet black. Some were a light soft grey and some even had a slightly purple hue, if you looked at them in the right light. Even without the gun Jamie reckoned that one slip could guarantee certain death.

A couple walked by with a chocolate coloured Labrador. It was beautiful, not quite fully grown - maybe about a year old. It was bouncing around with the energy of a young pup. The couple smiled as they walked passed and then continued with their conversation as the dog bounded slightly ahead of them. He smiled sadly to himself as thought about his own dogs and the comfort they'd brought him over the years. His thoughts then drifted toward Sarah. The love of his life. She'd be sat on the sofa right now. Watching TV, or writing another chapter of her ever-elusive novel with no inkling of what he was about to do.

A wave of guilt washed over him. Jamie knew Sarah loved him. But he couldn't be the man she needed him to be. He was weak, broken and she deserved so much better and so much more than he could ever offer. How could she possibly be with him. She wouldn't want him if she knew what he was really like, if she knew who he was, if she could see the monster he knew himself to be. She'd be better off with out him, he knew that for sure.

Jamie peered over the side of the quarry once more. He'd planned it a thousand times in his head. He'd wait until he could be sure there was no-one around. He'd pull the package out from the inside pocket of his coat and release the gun from the brown paper bag then hold it to his head. And then... then it would be over. No more pain. No more letting everyone down. No more disappointed, sad glances his way as he let yet another person down. This was the right thing to do, the right thing for everyone. He took a deep breath and reached inside his coat.

Where was he? he'd be gone for ages. Sarah checked her phone for the fourth time in as many minutes. She'd been so worried about him recently. He'd become increasingly distant and withdrawn. She'd tried to talk to him on so many occasions, but each time he'd insisted there was nothing wrong. She'd tried to get him to open up, but she didn't want him to completely shut down. So she'd tried to keep it light and breezy. She didn't really understand how it had happened. As far as she knew, nothing significant or life changing had happened. Things had been exactly the same.

It had started off quite gradually, the odd quiet moment here, taking himself off to the bedroom there. Then slowly it became more frequent. He got quieter and quieter and would sometimes experience low moods for days on end. He'd be irrationally moody and would accuse her of not loving him enough. Or insist that he was not worth loving at all. He disappeared for hours. A lot like today. He'd been gone for and two and a half hours now and he'd said he was only going for a walk to clear his mind. Sarah just couldn't shake the feeling that this was different somehow.

She texted him again 'where are you? xx' She hoped it came across as soft and nonchalant, the last thing she wanted to do was push him further away. She checked the message after five minutes, it was stuck on delivered, like the previous four before it. She started to feel anxious, there was a knot in her stomach that was getting tighter in as each minute without contact passed. Maybe she was being irrational but she just couldnt shake the feeling that something was wrong. He needed her, she could feel it in her gut. Every part of her body screamed, go to him. But she didn't know where he was or even where to start. Every molecule in her body was heavy with dread. She felt as though she'd been punched in the stomach. She checked her phone again, 'read'. She sighed a heavy sigh of relief. If he read it, she knew that meant he had to be alright, he was safe. She looked down at her phone again and saw the three dotes that indicated he was constructing his reply. It stopped for a second and the dots disappeared, then began again. Finally his reply came through. Five words appeared on the screen in front of her, five words that would change her world forever. Five words that saw her life implode. I love you, I'm sorry xxx