I’m a woman simply because biology says so.

My boyfriend’s family is from Guatemala. Now, before moving on, I would like to clarify that I hold no hatred towards them despite our differences; I actually get along with them. They were raised to think differently about Gender. I want to share some of the things that they said to me which annoyed me a bit. The comments they make are just comments that make me think about how much my life would be different if I were to be raised to serve men. Based on what one of my sisters-in-law said, I came to the understanding that women in Guatemala have no voice, or maybe they do have the power to take control but I am only saying they do not because of what my sister in law has mentioned to me which is basically that a woman over there can never put herself first; they have to deal with whatever their husbands want. I say this because I was also told that a woman can’t ever leave her marriage, only if her husband dies, then she is allowed to look for romance again.

1. “If you are lazy and don’t clean around the house then it makes sense that your husband cheats.”

2. “You’re not a real woman if you can’t make tortillas by hand, that’s embarrassing.”

3. “You should have your daughter’s food ready when you leave for work, my brother was struggling to look for what to cook my niece, it doesn’t look good that a man cooks.”

4. “You need to ask permission from your husband before making a decision, the man is always the leader.”

5. “It’s not good to have friends, they don’t last forever, you can only count on your husband, us, and your side of the family.”

6. “You shouldn’t dress that way anymore, if you were single and not a mom, then dress any way you like, but now try to dress decently.”

And what is my response to all this? Be fucking for real. Maybe you were raised to cook and clean, to always put aside your dreams when having to become a mom, but that’s not me at all. Now listen, I don’t mind cooking, and cleaning, because trust me I like to be organized, but I am so much more than that. I want to graduate, I want to get a job in my career. Who says you have to choose between being a mom and choosing your career? The love I have for my daughter will always be unconditional. I find it awful that I’m viewed as a bad mom if I forget certain things, get it through your heads that I’m the mom, and that all of you just need to worry about your own kids. Just because I don’t cook exactly like you guys, that doesn’t mean I can’t cook. Also, everyone can cook, but not everyone can cook every single thing. I can cook a few Mexican dishes that you guys never cooked in your life but you don’t see me saying anything wrong about you guys. It boils my blood when you guys ask my parents if I served them food, or when you tell me how hard it will be for me once me and my boyfriend live together on our own because that means I will need to clean and cook every single day and you guys believe that I have no experience. Also, if you guys believe that a man will stay loyal just because his wife cooks and cleans and listens to him, think about one of your sisters, her husband was literally unfaithful and she literally was looking after the kids and her mother in law was keeping her on check, basically she didn't have any space for herself.

I say this again: I am a woman because biology says so, even if I am not perfect when it comes to these things women are supposed to do, don't ever tell me I am not a woman. I am a woman, end of discussion. Also, my boyfriend, if he ever cheats on me, that will never be my fault.