I Love You, Suzi-Q

Is it some sort of ironic coincidence that my best friend left this realm on the first day of Breast Cancer Awareness Month? I think it might be. She'd have liked that irony. She was quirky that way.

I'll start by saying this: Check out the link, study up, and make your appointments ASAP for complete exams and mammograms if recommended by your doctor: Breast Cancer Awareness

Now, I'd like to talk a little about my friend. I love her. I will miss her.

There was a blizzard in full scream mode that night, and the howling wind nearly obscured the knock on my door.

My first thought was, “Oh my God, who in their right mind would be out there in this weather?”

When I pulled the door open I was confronted by what appeared to be a snowman, come-to-life. A female voice emerged from behind a muffler: “Please tell me you’re Paula.”

“I am.”

“I’m Suellen. I—”

“Get inside!” I took a snow-covered arm and pulled her into my house.

That was my first face-to-face meeting with Suzi.

I can’t recall where the men were when she arrived, but they were quickly dispatched to pull her vehicle back onto the road and drive it back to our out-of-the-way house.

To this day I marvel at her ability to slog through feet of snow from the place where she slid off the road to my house. It wasn’t on a main road, or even in a proper town. Road signs were few; the ones that did exist had been covered in snow and ice.

Over the years I realized that this woman could navigate. I get lost all the time, but I never knew of a single incident when she wasn't able to find her way to wherever she was going.

We didn’t know she was coming. I had spoken to her on the phone a few days earlier. She’d met my then-boyfriend’s best friend while he was working at a meat-packing plant in her hometown, and she was smitten.

He’d returned to Wyoming and was staying with us. Undaunted, she was determined to get him to go back to Nebraska. Thus, she embarked on a road trip without giving a lot of thought to the weather.

Well, that was my friend to a “T”. She was impulsive. She was determined. She saw what she wanted and she went after it.

It got her in trouble—often.

Well, she got her man. He went back to Nebraska with her. They married. They moved to Utah.

Somewhere along the line, my boyfriend and I decided to get married, too. Suzi was the first person I called. “Come here!” she cried. “We’ll go with you and be your witnesses!”

Off we went to Utah!

The night before our wedding we all went to a concert in the park in Salt Lake City. America, Eddie Money, and John Denver. It was supposed to be concert under the stars, but it turned out to be clouds and drizzle. We covered our heads with a blanket and pushed through the crowd to get a good look at John Denver on stage.

We had such a laugh when he forgot what verse he was on singing Rocky Mountain High. It was being recorded for a special, so he laughed and told the audience to keep it under their hats. He started again from the beginning and it was perfect.

The wedding didn’t go so perfectly. We got to the little chapel in Elko, Nevada and discovered that my boyfriend had left his ID in the pocket of the shirt he wore to the concert. (It all worked out, thanks to Suzi’s daughter and a lot of craziness.)

It was a sign. We ignored it. Hindsight—what can I say?

I was married for the second time. (What was I thinking?)

We went back to Wendover, Nevada and stopped for dinner. One of Suzi’s friends was there. She handed Suzi a room key and told her the room was paid for but they’d lost all their money at the casino so they were going home.

Weirdest wedding night ever—Suzi and I slept in the bed and our husbands slept on the floor!

Probably another sign. Right?

So many funny memories…

This was pre-cell phone era. Oh, my goodness, the phone bills! I set aside extra every month for our blab fests. I called once a month, she called once a month. It literally cost us less to jump in the car and make a 400 mile round trip for an in-person visit, which we did as often as possible.

Life wasn’t perfect—far from it. Our kids got older. We got older. And then…

Fast forward a few years, and Suzi and I were in Colorado after our marriages went the way of most ill-conceived plans.

Well, at least we still had each other.

My friend was larger than life, the center of attention in a crowd, quick to laugh, and blessed with the ability to cry it out if need be. If we were out together, I was happy to sit back and just watch things unfold. She was outgoing. I was a wallflower. It worked.

She was my dear friend for nearly three decades. I couldn’t NOT love her. She was my sister by choice, and once you make a choice like that, you just keep on loving forever.

One thing about her though—she was notorious about neglecting her health. I say this now because it caught up with her.

On Friday, October 1, 2021, my friend took her last breath, thanks to a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer. It wasn’t discovered until it was Stage 4 and had already metastasized.

Honestly, it’s something of a miracle she lasted as long as she did—but she never believed in following the rules, so more power to her. I’m very grateful she was feeling well and happy the last time I saw her.

About the F***ing cancer:

Triple-negative Breast Cancer | Details, Diagnosis, and Signs

Diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer with a BRCA1 mutation that had metastasized to her spine, Suzi had hit the jackpot. It is the most rare, the most aggressive form of breast cancer and has about a 12% five-year survival rate under those conditions. Had it been discovered sooner, the rate of survival is comparable to all other forms of breast cancers.

Because this was linked to a mutation, it was very important that family members be tested for the same issue. Daughters, granddaughters, and siblings of women diagnosed with this mutation are at high risk of carrying it and in danger of developing this cancer.

“Triple-negative breast cancer has fewer treatment options than other types of invasive breast cancer. This is because the cancer cells do not have the estrogen or progesterone receptors or enough of the HER2 protein to make hormone therapy or targeted drugs work.” (See link above for source of quote)

Every time I was scheduled for a breast exam, every time I was headed for yet another mammogram, I would invite her to join me. She always promised she’d go to her own doctor, she’d get it scheduled; she’d do it soon…but she didn’t.

I’ve been off and on angry with her since her diagnosis, because it didn’t have to be this way. Stubborn woman—now I don’t have my friend!

Of course, I am mostly just sad. It was too soon for this light to be extinguished. It was too soon for the laughter to dissolve into tears.

She leaves behind family and friends, and she will be missed—very much.

Breast cancer has a face and a story. This face and this story are my very dear friend.

Don’t let it become your story.

Please Be Aware. Take Care of Your Pair.

Remember, too, that men are also breast cancer patients.

For more information about different breast cancers and their treatment options, visit:

Health Central

To make a research donation, visit:

Susan G Komen