I Have A Sinus Infection. Here’s Why I’m Ecstatic.

Ladies and gentlebugs! I have WONDERFUL NEWS. I shall SHOUT IT FROM THE MOUNTAINS AND BANG POTS AND PANS AND BE VERY, VERY ANNOYING IN MY UNBIDDEN GLEE.

I have a sinus infection.

Background – Health-wise, Everything Is Dicks

My dudes, I have had a month (and a half). First I got a tonsil infection. The second I got over that, I sprained my ankle. The second I could walk again, I got food poisoning. The ankle kept bothering me, so I went to my PT. Apparently, as I have the structural integrity of a Jenga tower, spraining my ankle fucked up my knee, which messed up my pelvis, which caused vertebrae to get twisted, which shoved a rib out of socket, which is why I ended up going to my doctor with chest pains going “I’M ONLY 33 I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.” Then I got a sinus infection, which is quite frankly rude.

I say this not for sympathy, but to give you a background.

I went on antibiotics for the sinus infection, recovered from the food poisoning, and got reassembled by my lovely and wonderful PT. Things were on the upswing.

However. As time went on, I kept feeling low-energy. The headaches were pretty constant. My nose and face still hurt.

But I had gone on a full 10-day course of antibiotics! I was SO GOOD and took ALL OF THEM and did not contribute to the growing issue of antiobiotic-resistant bugs by going, “yeah I’m feeling better I won’t finish my dose.”

Note – don’t fucking do that, we will all die. I mean, we will eventually. Mortality is inescapable. But contributing to superbugs is still a dick thing to do.

I Am Obviously Sick Forever, Until A Doctor’s Appointment Happens

So, pretty much, I’m still feeling lousy and sleeping a lot and headaches and whatever. And since I recovered from the aforementioned nonsense, I come to the inescapable conclusion – this is just my life now.

*pause for dramatic effect*

NOOOOOOOOOOO. This is terrible! I don’t like it! But obviously, it is the only answer. My month has been so stupid that it has permanently impacted my health and this is my new baseline.

*headdesk*

But today, my friends! Today I had a follow-up appointment with my allergist (was recently diagnosed with a dust mite allergy). I got to her office, and she asks how I’m doing. I tell her I had a sinus infection, but I went on antibiotics and am still feeling off?

She gives me a LOOK that I did not come to her with nose issues. And proceeds to explain that with my allergies, which are low-level constant, I do not have a normal nose. It’s always going to be a bit angry and inflamed. And since I don’t have a normal nose, I ALSO do not have normal sinus infections.

I have VERY, VERY ANGRY sinus infections. I was given antibiotics for Normal Sinuses. It was, given the rage of my bacteria, deeply insufficient.

She looks in my nose with the little pointy-tipped flashlight doctors use. Note - she is an allergist. She is used to nose issues. She immediately says, “oh my god, your poor nose.”

And tells me that I still have a VERY, VERY ANGRY sinus infection.

I Am Still Sick and Everything Is Wonderful

One moment please, the trumpets are playing. It would be rude to interrupt.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM SICK!

My Extremely Bullshit Month did not permanently break me. I will not be consigned to a Victorian fainting couch for the rest of my natural life. I will feel better.

*sniffs* the trumpets are just…so beautiful. The angels must have really been practicing.

Tl;dr my loves - my body been suffering, but now I have hope. I shall one day be able to breathe out of my nose again and not sleep for 14 hours a day. The sun is shining (somewhere, it’s dusk now) and I will celebrate with an Epsom salt bath.

Because it’s pretty much like being massaged by hordes of teeny, tiny Christmas elves.