I Fell in Love with A Guy Who Had No Teeth

Being desperate can make you do things you usually wouldn’t do, like get involved with a guy who had no teeth.

It would have been a huge deal breaker in a different time and place, but I was already emotionally invested in my ex before I saw him in person and realized he had no teeth.

In 2008, I met my ex online in a chatroom dedicated to my state’s area code.

I was a regular in the chat room and became friends with several other regulars and hung out with them in person.

After a while of talking to my ex online, I fell utterly in love with him, or so I thought. You see, he had a way with the ladies since he was such a smooth talker, and he had a cute face, minus the whole no teeth thing.

We spent the first two years of knowing each other texting and talking on the phone. I would call him once I got off work at 11:00 pm and had amazing conversations with him while driving home.

I loved our late-night conversations, and I felt like they were so deep and made me feel more connected with him, which led to me falling in love with him even more.

I Offered Him My Virginity.

I remember the first time I told him I loved him, I was driving home from work at night, and we were talking on the phone. (hands-free!)

We were getting deep in our conversation, talking about how I wanted to lose my virginity to him.

He kept asking me if that was something I wanted, and I said, “look, I love you; this is something that I want to do. You are the person I want to take my virginity.”

He never said, “I love you” back. He also never told me he loved me at all during our relationship.

It wasn’t until our relationship was over that I clued into that fact and how I meant nothing to him, but just another notch on his bedpost.

He Played Mind Games on Me.

My ex knew how to play girls and mess with their minds, and he played me for a fool. When we were together, he made me feel on top of the world.

I felt beautiful and desirable, and I felt like he genuinely cared for me. Unfortunately, he also made me wonder if there was something wrong with me.

During our times together, he never wanted to take a picture with me.

That bothered me because I wanted to have a picture of us to keep for myself, but he didn’t want to take a picture. That was when I started to feel like something was wrong with me.

I began to worry that he was embarrassed by me, and my self-esteem sank even lower than it was.

I was confused by this whole picture ordeal because he said I was his girl if that was true then why wouldn’t he want to have his picture taken with me?

I brought it up to him once, and his excuse for not taking a picture with me was that he hated having his picture taken, so he always avoided the camera.

I knew that wasn’t true since I’ve seen a ton of photos of him online posing with friends at parties, and by the looks of it, he had no problem having his picture taken.

I Wasn't the Only Girl.

Some of the pictures I saw of him online were of him posing with some girl who looked like his girlfriend.

Little did I know he was dating that same girl I saw in the pictures of him online while he was dating me, which is why he didn’t want a picture of him posing with me posted online in fear of his other girlfriend to find out.

He’s here spending time with me, making me believe that we were together while he was screwing his other girlfriend behind my back.

Somehow, I knew he already had a girlfriend when he was spending time with me, but apparently, my mind couldn’t fully connect the dots enough to comprehend what was going on.

Plus, I was so desperate to be in a relationship that I didn’t want to believe he was hooking up with another girl behind my back.

Red Flags Were Flying All Around Me.

There were so many red flags that I ask myself, “how the hell did I miss them?” I can recognize the red flags now since it’s been ten years, but I wasn’t able to comprehend them back then.

I saw the red flags when I was with him, but I couldn’t understand that they were indeed red flags, and I should run for the hills since my longing and desperation to have a boyfriend was clouding my judgment.

I had to beg him to dump his girlfriend and be with me. To this day, I still don’t understand how I didn’t clue into how fucked up that was.

I shouldn’t have to beg someone to be with me, and I shouldn’t get involved with someone who is already in a relationship.

I was a stupid 22-year-old girl who didn’t know any better and thought this kind of relationship was better than being single.

I Was Gaslighted Before I Knew What Gaslighting Meant.

Verb (used with object), gas·light·ed or gas·lit, gas·light·ing.

To cause (a person) to doubt his or her sanity using psychological manipulation: — Dictionary.com.

While I was with him, I considered him my boyfriend since he made me believe we were in a relationship. The only problem was, he didn’t think of me as his girlfriend.

When we were with each other, he would tell people I was his girlfriend, but when he was alone with friends, he would say I wasn’t his girlfriend, and he was single.

Anytime I told him something that bothered me about our relationship, he would twist it around and blame me, and I would believe it.

One day, I finally got up the nerve to talk to him about how we always use my car to drive everywhere, and he never gave me gas money or even offered to pay for gas.

He made it out to be my fault because I never said anything about it when we were using my car, and if it bothered me, I should have said something.

He claims he would have paid for gas if I told him about it instead of staying silent since he took my silence as being okay with using my car and not receiving any gas money.

I ended up believing it was my fault I never got any money for gas because I never brought it up to him during that time.

He fed me so many lies that I believed every single one since I felt like I was in love with him and wanted to think he wouldn’t lie to me.

He Stole Money from Me and Blamed It on The Cash Register.

During our fake relationship, we went to the same gas station twice so my ex could get a pack of cigarettes and a coke.

He said he could get a free 20oz bottle of Coke every time he came in, and the only catch was I wasn’t allowed to come in with him.

The cashier told him he must be alone to get his free Coke, according to my ex. So, I gave him my debit card and pin and stayed in the car.

I didn’t think anything was shady about that and thought everything was fine and dandy.

I didn’t notice something was wrong until I logged into my bank account and saw that there were two ATM withdrawals. One for about $45 and another for $60 plus two $2 ATM withdrawal fees.

I was shocked by these withdrawals because I had no idea where they came from; all I knew was I didn’t make these transactions.

A little after stewing on those withdrawals, an eerie feeling came over me that my ex was the one who used the ATM to withdraw money off my debit card.

I casually brought it up to him, and that’s when he lied straight to my face.

He said the same thing happened to his sister when she went to the same gas station. The register overcharged her transaction when she bought a bag of chips and an Arizona Tea.

The register overcharged her the same amount that was taken from my card, and she happens to use the same credit union as me.

While telling me this, I knew he was lying to me, I could feel it all over me.

That son of a bitch was trying to gaslight me by lying to me about stealing my money.

I told him I knew he was the one who withdrew money from my card, and it wasn’t the register overcharging my card since there was no point of sale transaction, only ATM withdrawals.

The Love I Had for Him Blinded Me.

The love I had for him, or at least I thought I had, blinded me from seeing the truth.

I couldn’t see what type of person he was because he did an excellent job of hiding that part of himself.

I’m not going to lie, deep down in my heart there’s a little part of me that misses the feeling of being in love.

Even though I wasn’t in love with him but more of the feeling of being in love and having a relationship, I still miss that feeling.

Our whole relationship was nothing but a lie and did damage to my self-esteem.

It made me feel even more undesirable and worthless; it made me feel unattractive and stupid. But I refuse to cry over him since he’s not worth my tears, not anymore.

Famous Last Words.

You shouldn’t date someone who is already in another relationship, and you shouldn’t have to beg a guy to dump his current girlfriend so he could be your boyfriend.

The fact that I did that shows you how depressed I was during that time.

If a guy genuinely wanted to be with you and have you as his only girlfriend, he would make it possible.

Like being single when you two start a relationship. And not choosing to keep his previous relationship going, and hide it while being with you.

The dating scene will never be perfect, and there’s always going to be a lot of trial and error.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out and try to meet new people.

Yeah, it’s going to be tough trying to start a new relationship after being treated horribly by your ex, but don’t let that stop you from having fun dating other people and exploring your options because things will get better with time.