How To Tell If He Really Loves You

Sometimes in a relationship it is hard to know what your partner's intentions are. Self-image and loneliness and self-esteem are key points that keep people from seeing their partner for what they really are; they could be totally toxic or perfect Prince Charming. Sex is not enough to keep a relationship going, and if that seems to be all that your partner wants and they are not giving you any other signs of affection, that is a BIG red flag. Paying attention to these signs could give you an idea of what your partner really wants.

He holds your hand constantly.

Holding hands is a non-sexual way that your partner can show you that they are there for you. It shows that they don't have to be "handsy" to be hands-on in showing you how much they care for you. Sometimes a single hand squeeze can give me the reassurance and confidence I need in that moment.

His words are genuine and sincere.

What kind of words does he say? Does he say things like "you're beautiful" or "you're amazing"? A man who is invested in a relationship will tend to say things that mean more and he will compliment you constantly. I know for a fact that I have been around him with crazy, scary, woods lady hair and he still will look at me like he does, and then tell me he loves my hair when I first wake up. I have looked like death warmed over and he will find something nice to say to make me feel better. A guy who truly loves you and wants to be with you will make sure that you feel beautiful and confident about yourself and him.

His actions reflect his words.

Have you ever heard the phrase "put your money where you mouth is" or "if you're gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk"? Well, words are nice and pretty and make you feel giddy, but if your man is really serious, he's got to back them up with some serious actions. Whether that be a dinner at your favorite restaurant, surprise flowers, or in my case, surprise cranberry juice and Hershey's chocolate. It doesn't have to be classic romance because no relationship is perfect, but whatever he does for you, he should do with love. Like taking care of you when you're sick or hurt, listening to you vent, going out and getting that thing you wanted but didn't have the money for. And a biggie, he should always want to be around you. He should want to see you as much as you want to see him. If he makes excuses about why he can't meet up, or he just doesn't want to go out—blah blah blah. There's another red flag, honey.

Money shouldn't be a big part of his romance; he should be able to show how he loves you by simply being there for you. It doesn't have to be a gallant show. It should just be special, and just for you.

It feels right.

The question to ask is, does it feel right? How does he make you feel? Are you the one doing most of the work? A relationship is a balancing act, and it is hard work, but nothing's too hard if you love each other enough and are willing to put in equal work. If either of you put in more than the other, you will get out of balance and things will go bad really fast. You shouldn't feel like you are the only one who cares, and you certainly shouldn't compromise yourself for anyone.

Love is a tricky thing, and there are certainly two halves to every couple. Don't be with someone just because you think you have to. Love yourself also. Let yourself be worth a million. Put some faith in yourself. Calculate your worth and see if he treats you as much as you deserve, because you are a gem, a diamond; you are treasure. If he can't see that, then you should find someone who does.

"If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love someone else?" – RuPaul