How To Really Move on from Breakups

Breakups are heart wrenchingly painful, but they are essential to helping us grow as human beings. Some people come into our lives to help us learn something about ourselves. Other times it’s to work out karma from previous lifetimes. Whatever the reason for the relationship, sometimes it must come to an end, painful as it may be. But how do we leave graciously and begin to heal our broken hearts? It’s not easy, but it is necessary. You can’t write the next chapter of your book if you’re stuck re-reading the last one.

For Women

1. Cry.

It may sound simple, but crying has tremendous beneficial therapeutic effects. Holding on to sadness, anger or resentment can led to serious health problems. Let yourself cry. Don’t assume that you can just forget the whole thing and move on with your life. Honor your sadness and give yourself the necessary time to heal.

2. Don’t take it personally.

If you get dumped, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. It just means that particular man is not meant for you. Stop thinking you got rejected because you’re not worthy of love. Be grateful that you are now free to find a man who will be a better match for you and will ultimately bring you more happiness.

3. It’s a blessing.

When you have an enormous amount of pain in your heart, it’s hard to accept the breakup is a blessing. If he chooses to leave the relationship (for whatever reason), that’s his right—we all have free will. Just remember and believe that everything happens for a reason and that this breakup is paving the way for “The One” to come into your life.

For Men

1. Don’t ghost.

One of the most immature ways to handle a breakup is to ghost someone. The Urban Dictionary defines ghosting as “the act of suddenly ceasing all communication” in the hope that the person they are dating will just “get the hint.” This is a completely unacceptable way to end a relationship. At the very least she deserves a “Hey, I don’t think this is working out” text. It’s the kind and gentlemanly thing to do.

2. Don’t give a reason.

Most people often want an explanation as to why the relationship ended. I adamantly advise my clients against this. Why? Well, first of all, you probably won’t get the truth. And if you do get the truth, most likely it will hurt your feelings. The right person for you will fall in love with the very same thing that the other person was annoyed with.

3. Don’t be co-dependent.

People often stay in relationships for the wrong reasons. Maybe they don’t love themselves enough or have a fear of being alone. Understand that you are truly doing your partner a disservice if your true motivation for staying isn’t real, mature love. Do her a favor and set her free to continue on her journey to find true love…

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