How To Manage Energy-Sapping Conversations

In social environments, we easily lose our energy when we get caught up in boring conversations, when we’re asked too many intrusive questions, or when we receive too much-unsolicited advice from someone who doesn’t know us well.

Sometimes we encounter rude people or mean-spirited people who delight in seeing the unhappiness of others. In some cases, bad conversations can lead to verbal or physical abuse. On the other hand, good and respectful conversations can help to prevent or solve problems. Many families break up, and relationships fail because of poor patterns of relating with one another.

In a difficult conversation or crisis, it’s important to know:

-What to say and what not to say

-How to say something and how not to say it

-What to ask and what not to ask

-How to ask and how not to ask

-How to respond smart and how not to react causing harm or further damage

Knowing the above five ways can help us maintain our positive energy levels.

Here are some suggestions with my observations that can be useful for you.

Supreme Excellence consists of breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting — Sun Tzu

1. Lower your tone when you’re getting angry, but raise your points by adding more value and power to your words.

2. Don’t let out negative emotions on impulse. Instead, use your scorching emotions as a form of energy that you can use to strengthen your assertive communication and advocative skills.

3. Some examples of assertive communication:

- “I’d politely decline that request.”

- “I hope you’ll respect my personal boundaries and space.”

4. Practice self-compassion and save your energy by limiting conversations with the person who is draining your energy.

5. Ask reflective questions to remind and set boundaries with the person draining your energy. For example, “Could you please reflect on your words and actions, because you aren’t showing me any positive vibes here.”

6. Keep it short. Remember that the longer you talk in debilitating conversations, the more tired you become.

7. Be firm, powerful, and tactful. But be mindful of using harsh words because sometimes, ‘energy-sappers’ can be someone you might have to meet again. For example, it can be your colleague or close relative, and you have to see them again.

Usually, energy-sappers have a poor sense of self-awareness and tend to react with passive aggression. Hence, never solve a problem by making more hidden enemies and bite-biters.

8. Always remain calm. When dealing with foolish behaviors, actions, and communications, keep a clear head. If you aren’t mentally clear, energy-sappers can drag you into their deep muddy waters and make you drown together with them.

9. A person who is highly self-aware and mentally and emotionally grounded…won’t go around harming the peace and well-being of others.

10. Daily arguments, bad conversations, and conflicts are caused mainly by people who’ve difficulty loving themselves, are sandwiched between ego-related issues, and cannot recognize and manage the unresolved issues within themselves.

If they cannot see what’s going on inside them, they usually cannot see clearly what’s happening outside them. If I cannot even understand my intrapersonal problems, how will I clearly understand your point of view in an argument?

11. I believe in this formula:

Good Self-knowledge = Good Perception

Good Perception = Positive vibes and Positive Communication

I hope this was useful. Thank you for reading my insights.

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I’m the author of the empowering personal spiritual guidebook, “The Cosmic Romance with Existence,” and The Golden Halo, a free newsletter that delivers enlightening stories and poems to your inbox.