How to Know If You're Ready for a First Date

If you’re wondering how to know if you’re ready for a first date, consider these 3 things: your level of self-confidence, your comfort with your body, and the length of time you’ve been single. If you’re not quite ready, try practicing the 3 tips below to prepare yourself before going on your first date!

Figuring out if it's a date

There’s no set definition of what constitutes a date, and, in fact, it can be easy to mistake an awkward meeting at Starbucks or happy hour drinks with co-workers as something more significant. While there are no hard-and-fast rules, you can usually tell if it’s really just two friends hanging out or if there is romantic intent. The trick? Look for any signals that suggest your crush might want things to become more than friendly (like body language—she may lean in toward you when she talks). If you feel equally interested, then go ahead and ask him/her out on a date! But remember: A first date should never be about sex—and certainly not until both people are sure they want things to turn into something more.

Knowing your objectives

Before heading out on your first date, make sure you know what it is you hope to accomplish. Are you simply looking for a good time and hoping to walk away with at least one new friend? Do you want something serious, but are okay if there’s no love connection? If so, that should greatly affect how much time and effort you spend on your appearance—and how focused your conversation is during the date. While it’s true that chemistry is often immediate when two people meet, timing in dating has just as much (if not more) of an impact on long-term compatibility as instant attraction.

Finding common interests

One of the best ways to know if you’re ready for your first date is knowing what your interests are. Think about how you spend your free time. Whether it’s reading, writing, hiking or volunteering—that activity is probably important to you and can be an easy place to start when getting to know someone. Showing that you have similar interests can help with conversation topics on your first date. It doesn’t matter if those interests align perfectly; it just matters that there is common ground (e.g., I love playing basketball! What other sports do you enjoy?). The more similar things there are between yourself and another person, chances are higher that both parties will get along well together in romantic relationships.

Choosing the right outfit

Choosing what to wear on your first date can be pretty tough. To make sure you don’t under- or overdo it, start by considering how formal or informal your date is. For an informal meetup like lunch or coffee, you can generally get away with wearing something slightly more dressed up than usual; if your date is grabbing drinks at a bar, dress comfortably but just slightly nicer than everyone else in there. By contrast, if you’re going out on a nice dinner or attending an event together, make sure that your outfit doesn’t outshine his/hers—though avoiding matching outfits might also help prevent any awkwardness.

Being confident about who you are

The first thing you need to do if you’re going on a date is get to know yourself. If you don’t feel confident in your own skin, how can someone else? Whether it’s making new friends or just hanging out with your bestie, getting comfortable in your own skin is crucial. So, go ahead and enjoy being single! And remember: no matter how long you go without dating, there are plenty of fish in the sea; just make sure they actually like what they see!

Don't talk too much

Though you may feel like a simple question deserves an in-depth answer, take your cue from an interview. Keep things short and sweet. In particular, don't go on about yourself! That's usually way more information than you need to give. Don't talk about your exes: Dating is always hard after heartbreak, but trying to make small talk with someone new while secretly analyzing how they'd respond if you ask them out is even worse. Don't be self-deprecating: It's fine not to talk yourself up entirely — it's better that way! But too much self-deprecation can come off as timid or even insecure.

Have fun, don't be nervous!

The worst thing you can do on a first date is stress about it. Don't feel like you have to put your best foot forward, or think about what your conversation will be, or how you should act. The best way to know if you’re ready for a first date is if it sounds like fun—just enjoy yourself! Sure, there are better and worse ways of doing things but, at least initially, try not to worry too much about being perfect; let go of being self-conscious and just be yourself. In time, you’ll discover which date ideas work best for your relationship goals and tastes.