How to Get Over Him

So i know how you feel right now. The world feels as if it's as empty as your heart. Your in a cloud of grey thinking that nothing else matters now that hes out of your life and whats the point in carrying on, right? Wrong. I'm going to be down to earth with you now and give an insight on how to move on happily with your life.

First off, its okay to cry. Cry your fucking eyes out. Write about it? Rant to your mate on the phone about it. Address whats happened to you and relate back to the reason of why its not turned out well. Ill be honest, if he (or she) has cheated or done something bad by you it makes it easy to build a hatred for them and this makes it easier to let them go completely out of your life. If its on a mutual agreement its a little harder to get over.

The first emotion your dealing with is ANGER. Your not going to be able to concentrate on much and this is understandable you just want to lock yourself away and cry. This will last a fair amount of time depending on your relationship circumstances. The adrenaline pretty much stops your thoughts and your mind is focused on the break up. You're hurt, you may feel as if you want to hurt the other person. I get it. In these times you should talk about it with someone, explain it to a friend and they will essentially calm you down and even give you the girly pep talk you'll need. Reassurance from friends is so important because that's who you have left when things go pear shaped with your ex.

Grief is a huge part of our life. We can grieve loved ones passing, losing a pet and with many friendships and relationships. Sometimes we grieve without even noticing. In this case i think while your in such a storm of sadness and being over whelmed its important (as hard as it is) to keep yourself busy. Go out and spend time with your friends and try have fun. Organise movie nights in with a glass of wine, go on a dinner date or even get back to the clubs!. All of these things are a step at moving forward so if you've already done this. Congrats. Your family and friends should be supportive and careful of your emotions at this time. Keeping yourself busy is a distraction from the break up it'll set your mind at ease for a while. You'll need to replace the pain with enjoyment and laughter.

Assuming your feeling a little better but your at home again alone, in your room and we all overthink at night. Here's where you run yourself a long bath, light candles around you. Practising taking deep breathes can settle your chest and loosen the knots of anxiety that are built up. Start a new series on Netflix or binge your favourite movie series. Keep your mind focused for a while. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE when it comes close to your bed time. If you see something or re-read a message it wont settle your mind and you'll get stressed again before bed resulting into a lack of sleep. As your going to sleep put a sleep relaxation app on your phone. The one i personally use is called 'Relax Melodies'. You can compose sounds of all kids to help you sleep and drift off. They have rain effects, storms, chimes etc.

Facing Reality. This realisation is not the same as acceptance quite yet but your getting there. What i mean by this is you need to realise that things aren't going to change and they may not want you back. Depending on if your ex has been a total dick or not i would suggest deleting their number and blocking all forms of social media. This can be tough because i know your still interested and you want to see if they have moved on. Its a girl thing. Its one of those moments where you need to bite the bullet, pull the band aid off and just remove them from your life. This will prevent you seeing or hearing things to do with them so it makes your healing process easier on yourself. Inform your friends you don't want to hear about the person either.

Getting over someone really does take time. You will still have your moments of pain and miss the person but just remember your strong and a more successful relationship is out there waiting for you. Now, i know some people recommend moving on. 'Get over someone by getting under another'. I do not support this statement purely because of the aftermath it has on someone. You can go out and meet someone and go home with them. What if that person doesn't want to see you again?. This step can come later on after you've grieved long enough if you see fit. You may do this early on and experience a heavy sense of regret or guilt upon you and it does not make your emotions and break up any easier to get over. You don't need these emotions on your shoulders added to what your already going through.

Take time in between to GLOW UP. put on some makeup, take photos, get your nails done. We seems to think there's something wrong with us when someone breaks our heart. This is not the case. We are gorgeous and sometimes need to convince ourselves. Glow and get your hair done and go out. A few compliments from the girls or the guys at the bar will make you feel hot in no time. We all love a confidence boost to get us back to feeling ourselves.

Now that they are removed from your life, your hanging with your BFFS and trying new things, hobbies and keeping your body and mind relaxed i think its time to accept. Acceptance is key as you've gotten over the eruption of negative emotions. You have learnt that the relationship is over and will remain this way. You know you can now focus on yourself and maybe even consider going on and seeing that rebound for some fun. It's important to keep your mind stimulated and now that you have mastered these basic tips you will be prepared for any other future mishaps. Lets hope nothing negative appears in your life but such is life, shit happens and your stronger than you think. Move on.