How to Get Back at an Ex (While Still Being Classy)
Want to get back at an ex without being a psycho about it? It's doable—and yes, it can be fun, too!
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."—Proverb
I'm a person who has seen the ugly side of humanity, and its ugliest faces have revealed themselves to me in the dating scenes. I've seen abusers, thieves, users, cheaters, and narcissists put good, innocent people through unspeakable amounts of pain.
The things I've seen have left a mark on me. The fact that many of these people still seem to live relatively peaceful lives is shocking to me—and it's also been an eye-opener in terms of my personal beliefs.
I believe in karma, don't get me wrong. However, I am no longer foolish enough to believe that karma alone will fix everything while you wait with a thumb up your ass. Sometimes, you owe it to others to step in and make sure your ex gets stopped in their tracks.
Call me vengeful or call me realistic, but I'm a firm believer that karma sometimes needs a little push to work. If your ex put you through hell, it's only fair to offer him a little taste of his own medicine.
That being said, slashing a hole in all his tires a la Carrie Underwood isn't the way to go. It will make you look like a psycho, and will make him look like the victim. If you want to get back at an ex, it's best to take a tasteful approach.
Want to seek revenge against someone who's harmed you? Here are some of the better ways to do it.
Report any abuse they did and press charges.
It's not a secret that many scumbags have a tendency of doing illegal things to their partners. In most cases, it's domestic violence, but it can also be a matter of theft, blackmail, rape, or stalking. Regardless of what they did, it's illegal.
Most of the time, abusers get away with this behavior because they know their victims will be afraid to report it to authorities. The easiest way to get back at an ex who crossed the line when it came to their abuse is to report the damage and press charges.
Before you dismiss it as "too late," do a little research. Most states have statutes of limitations that allow you to press charges years after the abuse has subsided. If you report it in time and have evidence of it, you might be able to see your ex face consequences.
Even if they don't serve time, it's important to remember that a charge on their record could easily serve as a warning to future dates. Should they search him up, they will be able to stay away before it's too late for them.
Explain what happened to your friends, and show evidence.
When it comes to breakups, people tend to not know whose side to take. It's awkward, and most people will want to stay neutral. In the event of an amicable breakup, this is fine.
But what if your ex did something horrible to spark the breakup? If you want to make a point of showing that, no, it's not okay to let that happen, you can.
The easiest way to do it is to show people evidence of what he did—but only when they ask you why you're no longer together. You do have to keep it classy, you know!
A lot of people, especially narcissists, will go out of their way to talk to others and paint themselves as the victim. Speaking from personal experience, the best way of moving on from a breakup is to show proof about what happened when people start to approach you about the things they continue to spew about you.
No matter when you started dating, it will take time for people to realize you're innocent if you're getting your name smeared. It may take months, or even years, but eventually, the truth comes out to light.
Take him to court for any financial losses you incurred by dating him.
If you ever want to have a person feel serious regret for messing with you, hit them where it will hurt the most: in the wallet. No one, neither rich nor poor, enjoys being dealt a financial blow.
The funny thing is that most exes who deserve revenge don't think about the consequences of their actions while they do it. Douchebag exes tend to think that losses you incurred from them wrecking your stuff, or them using you for cash, won't bite them in the ass.
Do a little research and find out whether or not you can prove that they owe you money. Then, if you feel it's worth it, drag them to small claims court. Chances are, they won't be laughing after they get the letter in the mail.
Get a better job.
Most people who walk away from relationships do so with the assumption that the person that they are dating will not get a lifestyle upgrade. This is doubly true with people who are married but decided that the lifestyle wasn't enough.
The easiest way to stick it to an ex is to get a better job than what they last saw you with—and to make sure that they know it. The more you stick it to them, the more they'll realize that they could have been right next to you, enjoying the rewards of your work.
Oh, this works so well, and it's so devastating, too!
Breakups suck, but nothing quite sticks it to an ex like seeing their once-frumpy partner hit the gym and get glammed up. Speaking as someone who was dumped for being too fat, Khloe Kardashian's concept of a "revenge body" really does ring true.
After I lost 50 pounds, my ex hit me up again asking for a second chance. Of course, I took this time to tell him that he was a bit too ugly for my taste—and while I was able to lose weight, he will never be able to lose his ugly soul.
Date someone that strikes insecurity into them.
There are very few things that will make a person feel as if they've truly lost something major like seeing an ex dating someone that made them feel insecure about themselves.
Everyone has something that they're insecure about. For some guys, it's their weight. For others, it's their wealth. For even more, it's a matter of popularity or their sexual prowess.
You know how your ex was. What was he insecure about? Find someone who has a "one up" in that department, and watch him squirm. Who knows? This method to get back at an ex is also a good way to get over your ex fast, as it could actually net you a Mr. Right!
Make it look like they never existed on your social media.
If there's one thing that really hurts, it's seeing someone who used to play a huge part in your life suddenly act like you don't exist. Nowhere is this most telling than on social media.
Sure, this move is catty, but it'll burn. Moreover, this move also helps you get over him. The whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing works better than you'd think.
Speaking as someone who's had the "you meant nothing to me" treatment on social media done to them, it hurts. Like, a lot. It makes you wonder if you may have been dumb to dump someone, too, so if you want to get your ex back, it could also be a good power play to do.
Give him the silent treatment.
The saying "Silence is golden," is one of the most true statements in the English language. Silence is the easiest way to keep someone guessing, give people the idea that you know more than you do, make someone uncomfortable, and gain power over someone.
Most guys (and girls) go a little nuts when they have someone clearly ice them out.
Cut him off from all the services you let him use.
Was your ex a mooch? A leech? A similarly named parasite who seemed to love the perks of dating a girl with money of her own? If you are one of the many people who have found themselves acting as a sugar mama or a sugar daddy to an ex, then getting back at your ex shouldn't be that hard.
Once again, the easiest way to hurt an ex who was dependent on you is to hurt them financially. Take him off that Netflix account! Change the password on your Instacart. Call up AT&T and pull him off your plan. Heck, take him off your insurance plan, too!
Depending on how many things he relied on you for, this can be anywhere from mildly annoying to downright devastating. Go for it. Pull the plug. You will be amazed at how nice it is to spend money on you and only you.
Rope friends into shaming him, but do it subtly.
Now, I'm not going to tell you to get your friends to shame him or write nasty things to your ex on Facebook. That's not classy, and that's not even a good thing to do. However, that doesn't mean that you can't ask a couple of friends for some help.
If your friends hated your ex and he still hangs around you guys or them, the easiest way to get back at your ex is to use the power of friendship. Tell your friends about the fact that you want the ex to feel judged.
Have them give him "the stare." Get everyone to quiet down and look uncomfortable around him. Eventually, people will end up making him feel broken inside and he will lose any friends in common with you.
Here's an ugly secret that will mess with you: Most people tend to get a little thrill when it comes to seeing someone have a meltdown when they're dumped. You don't even have to be a bad person to have it happen, either. It's just human nature.
Simply put, you won't make people regret your loss if you're crying and begging them to come back. The best way to react when you're dumped and had your heart broken is to pretend like it's all good—at least, in front of him.
Make him think you're not having a panic attack. Make him wonder why you're okay, and if he's really the full loser. It can and will mess with his head. In many cases, doing this for a longer time can actually make him beg for you back.
If he comes back around and starts talking to you, remember that you're in the process of trying to get back at an ex. So, rather than have an emotional reaction, behave totally indifferently with him. It'll remove any validation he could have had from you.
Iggy Paulsen is a fan of anything and everything wholesome. He loves his two dogs, hiking in the woods, traveling to Aruba, building DIY projects that better humanity, and listening to motivational speakers. He hopes to eventually become a motivational speaker himself.