How to Dump Frenemies

by Iria Vasquez-Paez about a year ago in friendship

It feels better than staying put.

How to Dump Frenemies

Frenemies are not immediately obvious when they show up in your life. If somebody seems unusually trustworthy and they are too quick to become your friend because they want something, this is a sign of frenemy behavior. Sometimes they are there for you way too much, expecting the same thing in return. My frenemy has laughed at me, which is unacceptable. Laughing at somebody’s anxiety is completely weird and makes that person a bully. This person is medication inconsistent on top of her bizarre tendencies to laugh at my anxiety, which is a form of pain for me. So she is in effect laughing at my pain.

Frenemies pretend to be your friend. Look out for the person who befriends you too quickly. As in, instantly. If they expect to be friends with you right away, be suspicious. They may harbor jealousy. Another person who I dumped recently for losing her temper too much is somebody unstable too. I mean I can only tolerate people losing their temper so much that I cut them off, never letting them go near me again. People who yell at me trigger my PTSD. I dump people who pull this stuff. A first offender is not likely to get dumped if they apologize.

If somebody has been dumped, I expect them not to call me. Ever. It is why I do not call them. Leaving me alone is the best thing they can do. There is nothing you can do to make it up to me if you screw up by laughing at me, yelling at me, or losing your temper with me one too many times. This is the sign of an unstable personality. I do not tolerate emotional abuse or abuse of any kind lightly. If I’m rude for not talking to these people, then fine, I will be rude and never speak to this person again. I’m hearing about a lot of drama anyway.

I stay away from drama. My whole childhood was drama. I don’t buy the sweet person act, hardly. This is similar to what they pull. I’m not inclined to let frenemies back into my life even if they claim to have changed. I’m not open to any kind of friendship at all with any sort of frenemy who has toxic habits like not dumping toxic people or helping unstable people who take advantage of them. I have had to deal with somebody who would do this while she herself was unstable.

I dump people who have been mean to me. That is my bottom-line. You will never be my friend if you pull that with me. I’m no longer going to tolerate being a victim of bullying or abuse. If you can’t dump toxic people, that’s your problem. Happy people know how to dump toxic influences in their lives. Happy people do not allow toxic influences to dominate them. Genuinely well-adjusted people like being around positive people that make their spirit feel good. They do not hang out with homeless people who are unstable constantly and might give them scabies. This is why I stay the hell away from bums. It’s called volunteering at the soup kitchen or the shelter. I value my privacy, so I don’t do in-home care as I do not need it. I have other things to do with my time besides getting yelled at by an unstable person who needs medication. I refuse to be mistreated anymore by anybody. This includes people I date. I would rather be by myself than around somebody who disrespects my boundaries. This is why I’m single right now. I’d rather be single than be with someone who can’t tolerate “no” as an answer. That would be “no” you cannot borrow my phone as I want to protect its memory to preserve the Tarot readings that I tape record.

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Iria Vasquez-Paez

I have a B.A. in creative writing from San Francisco State. Can people please donate? I'm very low-income. I need to start an escape the Ferengi plan. 

See all posts by Iria Vasquez-Paez