How to Deal with Negative Peers

When you are young (and even when you get older), you have to deal with people who are often so insecure that they will put others down simply to feel better about themselves.

If you’re not aware of how to deal with this type of negative peer pressure, it can hurt your confidence and make it harder for you to deal with high-pressure situations. You need to process your interactions with negative colleagues and classmates so that you can apply your experience to future situations.

For example, at work or if you run a business, you’ll have to deal with pushback from competitors and other stakeholders.

In this post, I’ll share some key ways you can reframe experiences with negative peers. You can change your mindset and cope with any challenge you meet.

1. Stay professional

If your friend, classmate, or colleague is insecure, it's likely that they might put you down simply because they feel threatened by you.

If this happens, do not fight fire with fire and try to be as professional as possible. Even though the person is being difficult with you, they are probably just doing it to feel better about themselves.

And instead of resorting to their own tactics, stay on the high ground - people around you will notice your ability to be professional in your interactions with others. In the long run, staying calm and poised will set you up to develop the traits of a manager or some other authority figure.

2. Focus on yourself

If you’re dealing with people who argue or put you down all the time, it can be hard to maintain a positive self-image.

However, you only have control over your own behavior and feelings. Instead of focusing on what others say or do, look for ways to add positivity to your own life.

I suggest building skills through online courses. Or investing in a wardrobe that gives you confidence. Focusing on yourself will help you stay productive and deflect the impact of your negative peers’ actions.

3. Avoid negativity

One of the smartest ways to deal with negative people is to avoid them. I know it’s not possible to do this all the time and that’s okay. If you can send an email instead of having a direct conversation, then do this. It’ll get work done and maintain documentation for your interactions.

4. Get help from mentors

Talking to someone about your work or study environment can be a game-changer when it comes to dealing with negative peers.

Your mentors, friends, and higher-ups can guide you on what to do. And very often, it’s enough to simply express what you’re going through as a way to process it.

5. Stand up for yourself when it’s appropriate

Sometimes, you have no choice but to stand up for yourself let the other person know that their behavior is not okay.

The key is not to make or force another person to behave the way you want them to. Instead, it’s to assert yourself and state what’s acceptable to you and what’s not.

When you’ve had a direct conversation with someone who is giving you a hard time, you’re being proactive. It’s also a step that will reflect in your favor if things escalate and you have to deal with HR or other authority figures.

6) Ask your peer to explain what they said and why

This is one of the best tactics available to you when dealing with difficult people.

Negative colleagues and workmates often say things that make others uncomfortable. Instead of reacting to what they said, ask them to explain their words and actions.

The goal is to create a conversation that forces your peer to break down their own behavior.

It works because it makes them reflect on what they say and do. It also puts the focus back on them.

Make sure that you stay calm and have a controlled tone of voice when you ask ‘Why do you say that?’ or ‘How is that funny?’

Such questions can be very helpful in putting a break to negativity.

Conclusion

These are some ways that you can deal with negative peers. Just like any other skill, dealing with difficult people is something you can get good at over time.

As you practice managing your own reactions and responses to other people’s behavior, you’ll find yourself becoming more skilled at diffusing conflict and carrying out negotiations.

These are skills that can change your life for the better. So, put these tips to the test the next time you deal with someone negative. And you’ll feel better and stronger in the long run.