How To Change A Self Centered Husband (How To Deal With A Selfish Self Centered Husband)

Most people are used to living a single life, where all they think about is self. This is probably one reason why once they have a relationship or get married, they tend to become selfish and think only about their own good.

Sometimes, everything in your relationship may seem okay. However, selfishness can be a really sly monster that creeps up without you even knowing what's happening. This is why you should always be on guard before it strikes and suddenly everything's too late!

Selfishness in marriage can have varied beginnings. There are some relationships where one spouse is naturally selfish from the very beginning, even when they were still dating. However, there are times when egoism only develops when you are already married.

In most cases, it usually starts when you think of the expected equity in marriage. It is during those times when you think about how much you're giving to your relationship and how much your partner gives too. This becomes the bud of selfishness, and soon you'll be thinking about how come your partner is not giving enough effort on his/her part.

In fact, you may even start using the point system. You suddenly turn into an auditor that keeps track of your marital points. You took your kids to school this morning, one point. You changed the baby's diapers, another point. You gave the dog a walk, that's another one. Every little thing that happens in your household gets accounted for and you start comparing how much you've done with how much your partner did.

However, in this case, you aren't competing at all. What you'll be most irritated about is the fact that your score is always higher than your partner's. This ticks you off. Then it starts injecting unpleasant and negative thoughts in your head. You become extremely sensitive to everything your partner does and think that it's never enough for you. You start demanding things that are unreasonable and the next thing you know, you and your partner are having fights over nonsensical reasons.

3 Recommended Steps To Improve Your Marriage

Are you at your wits-end, when it comes to improving your marriage? I know it's very hard to continue to try to make your marriage better but get nowhere. Unfortunately it takes a toll on you mentally, emotionally and physically over time. There are a couple of things that can happen after a while.

• You work things out and your marriage improves immensely
• You give up and end up getting divorced
• Nothing changes and you come to accept the unhappiness and unending frustrations of marriage
• You end up angry, bitter and do something to your spouse that lands you in hot water

The information I'm about to share with you is not some newly discovered marital secret that will instantly fix your marriage. Just like there is no magic weight loss pill or hair growing formula, there is no magic potion to make your spouse fall in love with you again. However, there is also no reason why your relationship can't be better than it is today.

Have you figured out yet what changed in your relationship and why? If you haven't done that yet I would suggest that you make a list of the top ten things that are different today than when you first got married.

Making a list will help you in 2 ways. First, you will have a list that you can focus on that will keep you working on the right stuff. Second, you can eliminate the unknown from your marital problems. Some spouses have a tendency to think that everything in their marriage is bad and when pressed to discuss a few they are unable to do so.

What they know is that they are not happy. They cannot always put their finger on why. They just know that they need to improve their marriage. If you have a list of things to focus on then it will be easier for you to see if things are getting better.

The first step I recommend to improve your marriage is that you focus on you and not your spouse. Very often spouses get caught up in assuming that both individuals have to work simultaneously to improve their marriage. The problem is that it becomes a waiting game and the more time that passes the more difficult improving the marriage will be. It is important for you to take the steps to improve your marriage. Don't wait for or assume your spouse will take part in the exercise. You start and let your spouse join in on the fun later on.

The second step to take to improve your marriage is to say and do things to improve your marriage, regardless of the reaction from your spouse. It's easy to get discouraged quickly when you try to be nice, respectful and patient with your spouse and you get back just the opposite. Keep in mind that you are changing perspectives and realities and that takes time. Your spouse will be suspicious of your motives when it comes to your changed behavior. Therefore, changing your spouses expectations will come over time. Be patient and don't stop trying just because your spouse isn't responding in like manner.

The third thing that I would recommend is that you love your spouse and do things, regardless of how you feel. Don't let your up and down emotions get in the way of your marriage healing. Let your list and the end goal drive what you do not your emotional state.

There are many steps you can take to improve your marriage. I hope that you can focus on the right ones. Be careful because sometimes when you try to do too many things at once it makes the marriage worse. Just trying any and everything to save your marriage can unfortunately at times bring your marriage to an end.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage