How to Appeal to a Trans Individual

First things first:

It is completely okay to be absolutely clueless about trans people and issues regarding the trans community. If I assumed every woman loved the color pink and shoe-shopping, and every man wore boxers and loved diesel, then I’d be dead wrong.

If you happen to know if someone is trans, but you’re unsure of what exactly they identify as, just simply ask them what their pronouns are. It’s not that hard. All this shows is that you’re acknowledging them and trying to be respectful in the way you’re approaching them so as not to immediately get off on the wrong foot.

Even if someone is not trans or you're not 100% certain about someone's gender identity, it's better to ask than to assume. No harm done there. No harm in being nice, right?

If you happen to be that person that is wondering, “What are pronouns? What’s a trans person?” Well, my friend, Google is your best friend.

It’s okay to ask questions, but really, ask in moderation or see what they’re comfortable with answering. Like many trans people themselves, just Google it. It’s not that hard to educate yourself.

If you’re that person thinking, “Gosh, trans people are so demanding. We need to follow all these rules just to talk to them.” Here’s the thing, buddy. Is it so wrong to want to be respected by others? No. But with that attitude, we know you don’t give it.

Moving on to the big stuff—no pun intended. Not there is a pun to be intended . . . just read. Ignore this line completely.

Don’t ask about genitalia. Just, why? If I asked about your six toes, your two left feet, or the huge mole on your face, would you like that? No, not really.

Like all people on this planet, trans people are different from each other. Depending on the person you’re talking to, you just can’t mention specific genitalia or other parts of their body unless they specifically address it—of course, this applies in a situation where you may want to engage in sexual relations with said trans person, but if not, then it is definitely not appropriate to ask because it’s none of your business.

Why is this an issue, besides from the obvious sexual harassment that this is? Because it triggers people. Trans people, the majority of them, at least, have gender dysphoria, which is a huge piece of shit thing they deal with and is another thing you should Google if you are clueless. Just know, there is a difference between gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia.

For FTM dudes, most of them anyways, female terminology used for any of their body parts is considered a huge no-no. Same with MTF girls, male terminology for their bits are off the table. Why, you may ask, “considering their biology”—well, to put it simply, you’d be invalidating their gender identity by claiming parts of their body as something the complete opposite. If I was Google Maps and your destination was set to Times Square but I kept directing you to the Atlantic Ocean, you’d get sick of me, wouldn’t you?

Bear with me, I know my analogies are . . . ridiculous.

Basically, you wouldn’t be respecting a trans individual by ignoring their requests and/or boundaries.

Like how a guy may name his “mini”, Johnny, and a girl may name her girls Chica and Chico, trans people have their specific preferences for how they refer to their genitalia. Everybody has an ass, so that’s not difficult, but perhaps, excuse my language to those it may bring discomfort to, but said MTF women might prefer to call that place their “p*ssy”. You get what I’m sayin’?

And while everyone would love to ride off of "big dick energy", the equipment transguys have are exactly that—dicks. If you really knew about human anatomy, then you'd know . . . everybody has a sensitive joystick, big or small.

Forget what you may or may not have learned in porn. Porn is not real life, okay? Porn is a shitstorm of derogatory names and kinks that really should be updated to be less offensive, but everyone’s so damn horny, there’s really no time to change the way people think, because everybody’s thinking with their you-know-whats.

For instance, what pisses me off majorly in porn is the term “Ebony” for literally any black woman, calling black men “thugs” and “gangsters”. Calling Asians, “exotic” and “oriental”, and when straight men fuck gay men and call their assholes “boyp*ssies”—it’s a shitstorm. And when they categorize straight, gay, and “transsexual”—I really don’t understand. Shemales aren’t a thing. It’s not my place to say, I’m not a transwoman, but I feel like those people being called shemales are MTF women trapped in a box that they can’t break out of.

You can say this mini rant is me being butthurt, sure, but if you really think about it, isn't all of that fucked up?

Long story short, the only way you’ll really understand a trans person is by conversing with them like a normal human being and not fetishizing them.

If you happen to be one of those people that want to “try out” an MTF woman, or an FTM man, know your stuff and probably throw out that fixed, negative mentality. Trans people aren’t toys, they’re people, so treat them like it, even if you really want to experience a new and crazy fuck that you’ve never had before because trans people are so “extraordinary”. They’re not extraterrestrial aliens, so sex will be good, but it won't be any different from how it usually works.

In terms of what you identify as sexually, whether or not you believe in labels, it is important that you understand and acknowledge a trans individual’s gender identity.

If you are a cisman, claiming to be straight, that you’re interested in women, and want to fuck FTM dudes, then that tells me and every other person with a mind that you don’t see every FTM man as a man, but that you see them as females, and that is wrong.

If you want to have sex with MTF women but preach “no dicks” in your social media profiles, then that screams you don’t know your shit, because not every MTF woman has had bottom surgery, nor will she have it just to have sex with you, and of course, she may not call her biological anatomy that, but your “hetero criteria” really puts people against a wall.

If you have the time to be an asshole, I’m sure you have the money to buy yourself a sex doll to satisfy your crazy needs.

I don’t intend to shit on anyone’s parade, except on the haters, but I want to inform people, tell them to think a little bit before they speak. Words mean a lot, believe it or not, and being educated on these things really works wonders in building any kind of relationship with a trans person.

With this, good luck to all of you, be it cis or trans folks, and stay safe out there.

(My apologies if I may have offended anyone, not my intention.)

Thanks for reading!