How Rivalries Arise in the Couple and How You Manage to Overcome Them

Why does couple rivalry sometimes occur and how dangerous is it? You love each other, you respect each other, you like to be with each other, but sometimes you want to show the world and your partner that you are better! When you spend a day with a person, when you see him / her evolving, after a while the question may arise - open or hidden: "which of us is better, more attractive, more valuable"?

Those who say they have never asked this question either lie (and lie to themselves) or think they already know the answer! When someone tells you, "We are equal in our couple," he gives a prefabricated, stereotypical answer meant to keep the peace.

Why? Partners are never equal: one will always be more physically attractive, better at work or, smarter, more skilled at something, more sociable or more pleasant! Open and sincere partners recognize that each has its advantages and disadvantages and accept them as such. But equal in all perspectives?

Never! As long as the rivalry in the couple is a fair and friendly competition, it can contribute to the personal development of each one and the evolution of the relationship. When partners compete for more than a game in terms of general culture or professional development, it can stimulate them and make them want to move forward. But it can be extremely easy to reach an unfair and destructive race for a relationship.

When does couple rivalry occur?

Couple rivalry can often manifest itself professionally, especially if you work in the same or similar fields. Initially, you unwittingly compare your accomplishments with those of your partner. Once the result of this comparison does not suit you, you become competitive and want to show that you can do more!

This is not necessarily a bad thing, but if the desire to prove that you are more valuable than the other person obsesses you and controls your actions, you can easily reach a dangerous situation. Women can often end up wanting to show the world, their surroundings, their partner, and themselves that they are as good, valuable, capable, and intelligent as men.

Especially in a relationship where he considers that the man must dominate financially and the woman takes care of the household, women may not accept this point at all and become obsessed with proving that they are just as capable. An offended or unappreciated woman can become dangerously competitive.

Likewise, men can become competitive out of the need to show dominance, to show that they are men! When a man feels threatened by his partner, who may, for example, earn more or occupy a higher position in the hierarchy, rivalry becomes a major concern.

But even in different areas of work, the rivalry in the couple can be manifested. When one of the partners does not take it seriously or does not respect the other's profession, considering it a simple job, there is a desire to show that what you do is important, difficult, and admirable.

Professionally, the rivalry in the couple thus appears when one of the partners is dissatisfied, especially if he compares himself with the other or when he is not appreciated. Then he wants to prove that he can be just as good. For this, he may sometimes resort to tactics of criticizing the other to diminish his self-confidence. Any criticism in one couple - even constructive criticism and meant to help the other - threatens the peace!

But the couple's rivalry can manifest itself socially and physically: which of you is more attractive? Which one looks better, which attracts more attention, is it more socially pleasing to talk about? This is because almost always when a couple is born, there was one who is courted and convinced and one who lets himself be conquered!

And knowing that you are the one who was forced to conquer the other can bother you. You may end up wanting to prove that you are at least as attractive, pleasant, admired, and seductive as the partner you courted! Some couples compete: "who attracts more attention tonight", "who is" hanging "several times" ?!

Why? Because one or both of them feel insecure and want to show that they are attractive. This situation also stems from the fact that the partner does not show that he admires you, does not offer compliments, and does not strengthen your self-confidence. So you may feel the need to be admired by strangers to be considered attractive!

And when you enter the competition to show each other how attractive you are, it can even help the relationship, it can show you that you have the desired partner, but only as long as you do not exceed a limit and how much you need to know the same or more attractive than the other does not obsess you!

Tips to avoid couple rivalry:

Work to build confidence without hurting your partner! If something doesn't suit you - intelligence, appearance, profession - try to evolve.

Don't constantly compare yourself to your partner - you are two different people and it only makes sense that he/she is better on certain levels, just as you are better on other levels!

When you start a joke contest like "who has more fans", "who knows more", "who wins more", stop before the joke turns into an argument or criticism! One can earn more, the other has read more and knows more, one is more attractive, the other is smarter! And so? Do you fit in and love each other? That matters!

When your partner boasts of achievement and you feel dissatisfied or inferior, come back to reality and look at the good aspects of your accomplishments! It is not in vain that the other loves you!

When you know that the other person has a certain dissatisfaction with the profession, skills, or appearance, avoid criticizing him just in time or giving him "parental" advice! You trigger without wanting the rivalry in the couple!

Don't brag too much about your accomplishments, especially when you know that the other person is not satisfied with their evolution on a certain level!

If you are competitive nature by nature, look for other people to compete with, because the result of a competition in a safe couple will bother one of you!

Beware of IQ tests or even some general culture tests were done at the same time - it doesn't always reflect reality (you may be tired, distracted, inattentive), but if the results show a big difference between you will have problems!