How I forgot FOMO was even a thing

If you don't already know, FOMO is the fear of missing out. It's something that is driven by the always-connected world that we live in now. Because you can see what everyone is up to 24/7 online with social accounts, you can see what you're missing out on.

A few of your friends go to the bar together, they didn't invite you, but the next day you see pictures of the gathering online. It looks like they're having fun. Why didn't they call or text you? Were they spending the night talking about you? Do they not like you anymore?

This is what FOMO and the social media craze have done to us. We want to be doing what everyone else is doing and we want to have all the things they have. Long done are the days when mere commercials pushed us to spend on things we didn't need, now it's our own friends and family, unintentionally, showing us everything we're missing out on.

Why it's worse now

When someone is graduating from high school or college, you likely still get an invite in the mail. The same goes for weddings. When there was a concert, you'd check out the magazine or look it up on the band's website. If there was an event at the library or community center, you found it on a peg board at that place or looked it up on their website. With social media, all the events are there all the time.

You have friends inviting you to places. The businesses and creatives you follow send you invites. Facebook even suggests different events around the area the algorithm thinks you'll enjoy. While it's easy to ignore those that come from the social media site itself, or even a larger business, those invites from friends and acquaintances can start to cause anxiety. You have to work, so you can't make it. There are multiple events on the same evening -- how can you go to all of them? You're scheduling your own event and you worry about accidentally coinciding with another event important to you or your circle. Or, you just can't go because you can't afford it or the drive is too far.

But, it's not enough to say you can't make it. Once the event is sent you're now stuck getting reminders when it's coming up. Then, if it was a friend or acquaintance's event, someone you follow or are connected with on social media, you're inundated with all of the after photos showing you just exactly what you missed for whatever reason you couldn't go. Ooh, it looks like it was a really fun time. Now I'm depressed because I missed out, even though I had obligations.

I know some people simply take a month or week vacation from social media, but not all of us can do that. Social media has found its way into our businesses and our work lives. If you work in a medium such as I do, freelance AND self-employed, social media is a must for getting the word out on new articles, new products, and events.

So, how do you let it go?

You don't have to leave social media -- you just have to not have that need to follow along with what everyone else does. I know it's harder than it sounds, but I did it. Even when I get event invites now, I just look and move on. If I can and want to go, I'll make a plan for it. If I can't go, for whatever reason, I just don't go. Perhaps I'll share the event to help a friend out, but I no longer fret about not being able to make it. I don't care what I'll miss because I have so much else going on in my life to focus on. And that's the thing -- find other things that bring you joy and give them your focus.

Remember, too, that just because photos and comments make things look happy and exciting, it doesn't mean they were all that and more. Social media isn't real life, and a lot of people put on masks and play roles on there to make their lives look better than they really are.

Oh, and don't forget that just because someone else marks "going" to an event doesn't mean they'll actually go. Some people think this is a great way to show support (I think it's annoying -- please don't mark going to our events unless you have some thought of actually showing up).

The biggest way to let it go is to simply focus on what you already have in front of you. Make your own fun. When you're too busy having fun, you don't have time to worry about what you may or may not be missing out on. Dive into your hobbies, hang out with your kids or pets, meet up with a different friend, read a book, or have a dance party in your living room (it's free, and no drunks will be pouring drinks on you).