Honey, will you till me a garden?

I just wanted my garden tilled. This is not a euphemism. Its not even an elaborate task – I just wanted the small square of ground that I had identified weeks prior, to be broken up so that I could begin establishing my little corner of happiness. Sure, there were other tasks to be accomplished to make my garden whole – but this was the first step.

Now, I do not have a tiller. However, this relatively simple piece of equipment can be rented for a slight fee from the local hardware store. I do not have the height or upper body strength required to operate a tiller. However, my boyfriend is not only kind and thoughtful, he is also tall, with broad shoulders and more than enough strength to operate the machine. For those readers thinking that I am clearly not prepared to have my garden tilled and that this is more of a ‘honey do’ task – you are correct. But in the spirit of working as a team, Josh was happy to support this aspiration. It is possible that he just really wanted me to stop talking about a garden every time we went outside.

We arrived at the store ‘where doers get more done’ - because we were doers with a task at hand. The man at the equipment rental counter was quite informative. After hearing that our garden would be 11’x23’ – about the size of a small living room, he recommended the largest tiller available. He explained that with such a vast space to be turned, the tiller that could complete the task in 2 passes would be the best option. We, being the efficient humans that we are, agreed that, though the recommended tiller was quite oversized, we would rent the machine and be done with our chore in record time. The tiller’s size did however, present a new issue – Josh and I would not be able to pick up the machine to load it into the truck on our own, even with Josh’s strength. A second recommendation was made – this time for a trailer to haul the excessive apparatus. Of course, what is $20 on top of the rental fee that was already surrendered?

We were instructed to pull the truck near the trailers and the associate would take care of loading our rented items. We did as we were told. The exceptionally helpful rental counter man met us with the tiller near the trailers. He and Josh pulled the small flatbed trailer near the ball hitch on the truck. The associate knelt near the hitch and completed the connection. He then rolled the tiller onto the trailer – everything seemed simple and predictable. I had remained in the truck – I really had no roll in this part of the process. My seat from within the truck, looking out the back window gave me the perfect view of Josh’s face – which meant that the moment I felt the truck jolt, I saw Josh’s eyes grow huge and panicked. Suddenly, the exceptionally helpful rental counter man rolled the tiller back off the trailer – with this action I felt the truck shake again. As soon as the tiller was back on the ground the man began shaking his head, turned, and walked into the store.

I left my post and met Josh at the back of the truck. He was in a state of shock and staring at a deep scratch in the shape of a 7 on his tailgate. The trailer connection was not as complete as everyone assumed. The initial shake of the truck had occurred when the weight of our oversized tiller hit the back of the trailer and catapulted the not completely connected tongue of the trailer into the tailgate. The second movement was when the weight was shifted again as the tiller was pulled off the trailer, dragging the tongue down the tailgate.

Josh and I were left to stare at the scar – the exceptionally helpful rental counter man had left without a word. Of course, when he left, the tiller was placed directly behind the trailer, meaning that the trailer could not be moved away from the truck, nor could it be attached correctly as the tongue was currently resting on the bumper. Josh’s shock continued for several minutes.

When the exceptionally helpful rental counter man finally returned, he was accompanied by his manager. The manager, with a pocket pad and the tiniest pencil ever used, took down Josh’s information for an insurance claim. The exceptionally helpful rental counter man restarted the trailer connection and tiller loading process. This time, under intense supervision from Josh.

We were ready to pull out of the parking lot when we were assured that we would only be charged for 4 hours use on the items as long as they were returned before store closing – about 6 hours away. A generous offer from the exceptionally helpful rental counter man. Of course, we understood that the accident was just that, an accident. However, we were provided a monologue of why the he did not like to connect equipment and felt that it was not his job, a sentiment he had shared with management multiple times during his decade long employment. We left feeling more educated on the roles and duties of the store employees.

Once home, the tilling was completed in record time – just as we suspected. The oversized machine was certainly unnecessary. However, we were able to leave the store, unload the tiller, till the garden, cut an internet cable, stare at the scratch, reload the tiller, wash the truck and the machine, and return the items in just under 2 hours. Our only reward for our efficiency being bragging rights, as we were not credited for our unused time.

To ease the minds of my readers, I will let you know that after several weeks of persistence Josh was able to connect with the store’s insurance. He was compensated for the repair needed on his truck. I would also clarify that we do not have any ill feelings about the store or the exceptionally helpful rental counter man. And… I now have my garden!