Honest Sincerity

Sometimes life has other plans...

Honest Sincerity

The was city quiet, almost eerie as we walked along deserted streets. I reached out with my dry calloused hand and touched her soft pale palm. I knew of a small walking trail just ahead that lead down to a private little alcove everyone called Puerto Rican beach. The shore was lined with small stones, smooth and weathered from hundreds of years of being beaten around by the current. I considered, for a moment, where they may have originated from, and how long it took them to reach this specific place in time. There was a fallen tree a few feet back from the shoreline and we decided to settle there for a short time. The reflection of the setting sun danced across the glassy water, while the blood red sky illuminated the evening with a romantic glow. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She was much younger then I, though it never showed. Elegant and defined, well spoken, and yet there was an unsurety about her. On one hand it was clear that we were both smitten. The way we gazed into each other's eyes as the deep red horizon slowly sank. It was all like something straight out of some cheesy romance novel, or the ending of your favorite romantic comedy. As the two of us sat there quietly discussing the weather, the entitlement of the younger generation, and love, of course we spoke of love. Neither one of us would say the word itself, yet there in that warm summer night, it spun around, between, and underneath us like a cool evening breeze. Half the time we didn't say anything. We just sat there gazing at each other, her smile was so innocent and sincere. I could tell she was trying to hold it back, not expose herself too far. There was a pain in her eyes that told me her past had not been easy, I could see that she was still healing from the wounds of her past. Yet there was a quiet comfort, an honest sincerity between us. I leaned in and kissed her forehead as if to say "whatever you've been through doesn't matter, you're safe now."

She looked up and smiled at me. "You're too good to me," she muttered quietly.

"I'm really not doll, how I've treated you is what you should expect from any man. Anything less is beneath you."

"I still don't see why you think I'm so special,"

I peered over with a sly grin, "You don't have to my love, I know what I see, and that's what's important. We haven't talked about our past but I need you to know that whatever your struggling with, whatever pain was inflicted on you by the last man, is all inconsequential. You're safe now my darling."

She smiled and asked "Oh is that so!"

"Of course my love, I knew the day we met that there was something special between us. Whatever that may be, has the potential to become something beautiful, true, and honest. I'm not in the buisness of breaking hearts darling. In fact I don't generally even give this kind of time to another. I don't date, I don't chase women, but since that day at the wedding, I just haven't been able to live without you. There's nothing you can offer I can't give myself. I'm not here for any reason other then your thieving ass stealing my affection. How you did that I may never know. After my last relationship I promised myself I would never again let anyone inside, I would never date and I would certainly never give myself to another human being. Yet here we are, eight o'clock at night, watching the sunset, and as I look into your eyes I'm overwhelmed by the feeling that this is exactly where we're supposed to be."

"You know that I'm no where near ready for any of this right? It's all so unexpected. I'm not looking for anything. I don't want anyone. I am entirely content to live alone, just me and the pup. But a couple months ago you came twirling out of thin air and appeared directly in front of me like the heavens had sent you directly to me, and now I don't know what to do. I want to be around you. Everything about you excites and frightens me at the same time. I have no idea how to handle myself around you, I'm so afraid I'm going to say or do the wrong thing, or that something will happen and I'll chase you away forever. I don't know if I can be what you need right now. I don't know if I'm even capable of this. "

"What if I don't need you to be anything? And what if the only thing you need to be capable of is healing? In my 32 years on this planet I've never met a woman as understanding or sincere. You're honest and genuine and that's all I want! There are no expectations and nothing you need to do for me. Be yourself and make a little time for me. You need time to let go of all the pain from your past that you're dragging around and that's ok. I'm here for you, here to protect you and support you, here to push you to become more then you already are. Take your time babe, none of this comes easy and nothing good ever came fast. I love you for who you are and we're going to see this through."

And with that I leaned in and softly placed my lips on hers, "It's all going to be ok my love, even when you don't think it will."

"You really are the most amazing man I've ever met!"

"And you my love, have shown me something I've never had before, we're gonna do just fine."

And with that I jumped up off our little stump. I grabbed her hands and pulled her up and held her body close to mine. I leaned in for one last long explosive kiss as we turned around and walked off into the sunset.

Michael C. Lafferty-Shockency
Michael C. Lafferty-Shockency
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Michael C. Lafferty-Shockency

Born in San Jose California, and raised in upstate New York, I write about the struggles I am facing at any given time. Im just a guy tryin to work through his shit using the written word to help heal and guide.

See all posts by Michael C. Lafferty-Shockency