her

You were always the one who stayed up all hours of the night with me, eating crappy waffles and singing to the moon in the protection of that little green car. You fought consistently by my side when I dug myself into the inevitable problems I created. You put a drink in my hand when I didn’t feel like having fun and made sure I was safe when I was naked at the bottom of a tub after drinking too much. You made me laugh when my broken heart felt heavy, held my hand when I cried (though rare). The one who is always first to answer the phone on the first ring. You were the one who taught me how to love with kindness and grace, but to always remember my worth. You were the one who helped me get ready for dates, looking into my eyes, and telling me no matter what happened you were going to be right there. You probably knew I was going to fall in love easily, as I do with everything and everybody, but you were there always. You held together probably 100 broken hearts. It was you who showed me my worth time and time again. Encouraging me when I was down, celebrating with me when I was up, supporting me on the days I didn’t believe in myself.

It was you who taught me that time and distance don’t have power over a real connection. It was you who showed me that real love doesn’t leave, doesn’t run, doesn’t fade when the roads turn and twist. It was you who showed me who I was and had the potential to be when I was too distracted by fear, sweet nothings and empty promises. For so long I was wrapped up in relationships, in trying to find the right person, in trying to make the wrong ones fit. I was convinced that my worth was dependent upon who loved me, and so sure that who I was as a person was solely measured by my role as a girlfriend. But it was you who taught me that I was far more than that. You taught me the value of my heart—not in the romantic sense, but how big my heart was, my capacity to love.

It was you who showed me that love stays and love fights. You showed me that love doesn’t change with the seasons or life’s obstacles. You reminded me that I was wonderful and valued and important and worthy. You were right there through every blown off date, every crappy kiss, every failed relationship, every temporary connection, and every time I realized I wasn’t ready to love.

It was you who gave me strength when I was down, who reminded me of all I had fought through and all the potential I had left to be. It was you who didn’t break my heart, didn’t say one thing and mean another, didn’t promise me forever and find a forever somewhere else. It was you who taught me about the possibility of love far greater than I had ever imagined. So thank you. Thank you for being the person who didn’t leave, didn’t drift with time, didn’t make me feel as if love has conditions and rules.

I know these words will never be enough to tell you all that you mean to me. Just know that I am the person I am because of the care you’ve shown me. I hope to be all of this for you and that we’ll be in each other’s lives as long as we’re on this earth, sharing 2Am waffles, tacos and coffee, and half price apps.