Happiness in Destruction

I’ve always loved to read.

When I was in the second grade, my favorite teacher lent me my very first chapter book. But when she saw me using a piece of paper as a bookmark she told me to just fold the corner of the book when I found a part I really liked. This confused me. The first rule we learn about books in the library is how we leave it better than when we had first borrowed it. She laughed and told me that the book was mine to keep. She said that the best part about reading books is interacting with it.

It took me a while to completely understand this concept. In many cultures books are so sacred they can’t even fall to the ground. So when I first learned about tunnel books I was shocked to say the least.

Cutting up a book just seemed so derogatory to me. But when I saw the beautiful and intricate scenes it created I immediately fell in love and remembered the words of my teacher. The care and thoughtfulness that goes into creating these tunnel books are a tactile and visual way of interacting with the author’s words.

I use a pair of scissors to gently cut out pages from books that have been loved and well read. I fold some of the pages into an accordion to house the scenes that I cut from the pages. I layer each scene, adding more details in front of a background. Then, I use a pencil to draw out designs from the elements of the scene. Finally, I use watercolors to liven the piece.

When I craft these scenes, cuts are almost inevitable. From scissors, to utility knives, to the seemingly insignificant papercuts, a little pain is almost a guarantee. But in this hobby, destruction is a form of creation that leads to connection.

This hobby reminds me so much of my childhood playing with paper dolls. When I was little my family could not afford to buy my sister and I the Barbie dolls that all the other girls had. So we would take our old school textbooks and cut out the illustrations of people and furniture and play with them. In a lot of ways making tunnel books is an homage to our modest childhood. It has kept our imagination and creativity active throughout our entire lives well after adolescence.

Although reading is a universal activity it has always been considered a solitary one. Ever since I was little I’ve had to navigate my need to immerse myself in books and maintain my connection to those closest to me. Talking about books is just never as good as reading them. I struggle to verbalize thoughts and feelings about fictional characters and events and why they mattered so much to me. I realized that I needed to make a bigger effort. That I needed to take literature’s greatest advice and show not tell.

When I recently read a book set in Paris, France I knew I had to make a scene of it. Using a vintage map as a backdrop I made a small setting with the Eiffel Tower and the Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Paris. Researching all the landmarks of Paris really inspired me to come out of my comfort zone and travel there one day to actually experience life like the characters in my books.

From the printed words on these dead trees, and the authors I may never meet, the books I loved have created scenes of life that I can share with those around me.