Haha, look...the New Kid!

“Wow….look at this new kid, no one knows him, and he doesn’t speak apparently…watch this. Hey, short kid. Hey, short kid in the blue shirt. Hellooo, I’m talking to you! See, he can’t speak” …as the clique of elementary school friends walk off.

Welcome to my world as a 12-year-old heading into 7th grade, the first year of Jr. High School (middle school). My family had just moved from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Against my wishes of course. You would think heading into a new school the same year other kids do would make it easier…I beg to differ. Well, at least for me, a short, shy, pale kid from a small town to the hustle and bustle of a big city. I’m not sure, but I had not developed social skills at the point in my life yet, which made it incredibly hard to even start to think of what you would respond to witty banter coming your way.

I did have one saving grace, which was I played sports, and was good enough that I would make teams with the “cool kids”, but that didn’t make them want to talk to me outside the locker room. So, on I went, every class break, every lunch hour, I walked the halls. Sometimes slow, sometimes medium paced, every once and a while someone would ask me something, I’d stop and respond. Then quickly realize, I wasn’t supposed to be apart of the next conversation. Carry on, walking the halls.

It’s funny how introverts tend to find other introverts to befriend, but neither one wants to talk to each other. Haha. Well, I found my introvert. I pestered him day in day out, trying to figure out why he would rather eat and walk alone than to entertain having me around. You start to wonder, is it me? Will I ever find a real friend?

Then, one day, someone broke free from his elementary unit and walked up and started talking. I was waiting for him to stop talking and go back to his friends, but he just kept walking with me. Suddenly, I had my first true friend. Someone how actually cared to get to know me and wanted to hang out. To this day, he is my one and only true best friend. He helped teach me all about the whose who and would catch me up on stories from their elementary days. Soon, was introduced to other friends of his and wouldn’t you know it, I was in a friend group.

As years went on and my shy tendencies really didn’t go away, I still struggled with anxiety heading into a new group of people. But I always had my group of friends I could fall back on to act normal and a little more outgoing. This was how I started to realize that people found me to be somewhat funny, or at least I told myself I was funny and that they weren’t laughing at my face! Insert 5 year old joke/good dad joke here: you’re pretty funny,,,,funny looking!!

Fast forward in life, let’s skip the drama of high school, and guess what? I discovered that I could enter a group of people I don’t know and look ridiculous and people will actually tend to gravitate towards you. People are always looking for entertainment, and the days I had the guts to be outrageous, I found myself making friends with the most random people around. This is a little trick up my sleeve that I know I can pull if I’m feeling a little lonely or out of place.

I think it’s ironic, when I felt out of place, all I had to do was act out of place to start fitting in. Now, this may not be for everyone, but it’s my party trick. So, I’m the one with the neon florescent hat telling everyone its to keep me safe. The one that bought an authentic Belarus hockey jersey for the Canada vs Belarus 2002 Olympic semi-finals game, obviously telling people I was from Belarus.

I think its important to look back at your upbringing and learn what life skills you learned from what experiences. These are what shape you as a person and its important to remember that no matter how hard or out of place you feel, there’s a million other people going through the same thing. So, instead of dwelling on how miserable it might feel, ask yourself what lesson can you learn, what do you have a passion for in life? How can you incorporate that aspect into your life, and you’ll start to realize that by being authentic to yourself, you’ll attract all the people with similar passions and they’ll become your best friends for the rest of your life!

Always be true to your passions and true character. Don't fake it for anyone else.

-Caveman