Good Deeds are still cool

Growing up I would always hear the phrase, “Be grateful for the things you have.” As I made my way into adult hood the phrase became an important part of my decisions moving forward. This will make more sense as this article unfolds. As the decades add up and my perspectives continue to evolve, I weigh my feelings with logic. Regardless of how downs I may feel about my situation, if I compare myself to another person, the phrase rings in my mind and I automatically notice the blessings I do have.

Now that I am in the middle of my 30s this action is more automatic, thanks to a year of therapy 3 years of introspection, self-development and doing the inner work I am much less reactive to the negative emotions I used to harbor from the last decade. Let us do a bit of time traveling, shall we?

In my Sophomore year of high school, I was making discoveries about myself as all 15–16-year old’s do, and I figured out that I was gay. And as the story goes, people began to find out and either they stayed in my life or they became memories. My mother found out and from that moment on our relationship changed, the strain became disappointment that grew into resentment. So, embarking on my 20s I decided to start my life as an “independent adult” and while I had no idea what that entailed, I just knew I needed to get away from the negativity and that it was generally normal for a person of 20 to want their space and freedom. Once I moved out, I learned very quickly who was on my side and who was not, sadly I had no one form my “past life” that supported me, so needless to say finding my own way was the only option. After a year of unstable living, homelessness and traumatic events that altered my ability to trust, I found my way back at “home” to recover and later try again with a better game plan.

That experience taught me about being kind to others, because at the end of the day you never know what a person is going through, and behind my smile that hid my truest of sorrows I was pushing through as best as I could. From that experience on whenever I would see a person in a less fortunate position, I was compelled to do something to help. This reminds me of moment; I had just returned home from a better experience that still ended up in what I felt was a huge failure. To avoid getting evicted, I decided to come back to my mom’s house and rework my game plan, yet again. Suffering from the depression of being a 29-year-old staying in my childhood home, once again, it is obvious to state that I was in a bad place. During this time, I was looking for work, the silver lining or anything that would keep my mind out of the dark places that I would go.

I was out and about one day I remember things were just starting to look up for me, I had gotten a part time job after 9 months of searching and applying, and I was starting to feel a bit better about myself. I was turning into the Walmart parking lot and I saw a homeless man on the corner with a sign stating that her was hungry, he looked incredibly young, possibly 22 and my heart kind of broke for this man. I went into the store got the essentials that I needed and got some cash back from my purchase. Across the parking lot was a Mc Donald’s and I felt the nudge to get the man a meal, so I got a combo and a drink, and I drove up and handed the meal to the man, the smile he gave me made me feel good inside and the phrase popped into my head once again. It did not matter that I did not make a lot of money or spent a crazy amount on a meal for a stranger, what mattered was I had something to help a person I need out, and I did just that. Just that small moment of human kindness made me realize that no matter what the situation looks like, the result is always best when lead with kindness. Now I frame my life on that phrase, to be grateful regardless, and to add always try to be useful, because you do not know what your efforts may mean to someone.