Give Yourself Permission to Start Over

Growing up, I wish we were told more often that it’s okay to start over. That starting over isn’t as scary as we perceive it to be, but instead a reminder that we are meant to forge more paths than the one we’ve been trekking on. That it's completely normal to try your hand in a different career path than the one your diploma tells you should be pursuing. That although the grass may not always be greener on the other side, it's worth exploring because the scenery doesn't change much if you're standing on one side of the fence your entire life.

Unfortunately, these are the things we're not always reminded of.

As we grow older, life may become more disenchanting than it once was through our youthful and eager eyes. We become more realistic when chasing dreams, and we let our external environments take charge more than our internal voices.

So what do you do when it costs us our passions, imagination, and the ability to believe in the impossible? We give ourselves permission to start over.

There’s a heaviness to the thought of starting over; it’s the thought of exchanging your old life for a new one. This heaviness caused me to question the one-way ticket I bought, once again, in hopes of seeing what opportunities were outside the comfort of my home. There was much fear attached to that ticket — the fear of failing, losing close friends, leaving my mother behind, and most of all, change.

Days leading up to my departure, I looked at my loved ones with questionable eyes. They each, in their own way, sent me off saying:

“You need to starting seeing this as an adventure.”

They were right.

Starting over gives us room to understand our fears on a personal level. Each fear represents a leaf of a plant that has a root embedded in the soil. The fear of change may not be in the action of changing but prompted by a long forgotten memory of often moving as a child. The fear of submitting a job application can be stirred by the pain of receiving a series of rejection letters.

Starting over is like flipping a coin. You have two choices: to change or to stay. This is not easy since fear is an emotion, but so is happiness. There is no guarantee that either side of the coin can make us happy, but it will give us growth.

Is the fear of change bigger than succeeding? Is the fear of falling in love greater than the possibiliy of having your heart broken? Even when a job rejects us or the city we moved to was not as idyllic as our teenage selves imagined it to be, we always walk away with something. We walk away with a lived experience and a better understanding of our coping mechanism. We walk away with renewed inspired ideas or the ability to let go of dreams that we have outgrown. We walk away with the ability to start again and again.

Starting over also doesn’t mean quickly jumping into the same routine as you were doing before in the previous situation you were in. It’s a period to rethink and redirect your intentions. Ask yourself what prompted the change. Were you running away? If so, that's alright. Slow down, take a breather, and ask yourself what you want to do differently. Was your intention to heal? Good. Then we have the first step moving forward. Don't let your scenery be the only thing that changes. Breathing in the new also means allowing yourself to experience the new.

Whatever inspired you to start over, remind yourself that you're not starting over from square one. You're beginning again from a different perspective.

The grass may not always be greener, but the view is worth the trip.

Go with it. Start over, then do it again.