From the Immature Friend to the Settled Adult

I was always known as the immature friend, never seeming to be growing up and always making the same mistakes over and over again before I learned anything. I was always the one who said the wrong things at the wrong time, never taking situations seriously and being the bounce house that par cored and laughed at all of the inappropriate times. It is funny how just a year, or two, has changed my life completely. Now, I truly am still figuring out if this is a good thing or not, and will tell you when I finally find out, but here is my thought process:

All I know is that I am now this OCD monster about my apartment looking nice at all times; I take my job way to seriously, I have a dog that I thought I needed to feel more "adult-ish" and I live with my boyfriend in a safe, rural area outside a big city of partying and nightlife: what a life, right?

Again, I cannot tell you if it is or not, still figuring it all out, however, I can tell you that it is easy to change. I can tell you that life comes out of nowhere and one day you are all grown up and have to fend for yourself. I love being on own, being an "adult", but I do miss the days of little responsibility and carefree thoughts of growing up. I used to think growing up, i.e. having a house, getting a dog, getting married with a full time job and settling down, was everything; the American Dream. Now I am not so sure.

Now I see why parents tell you not to rush life, not to wish to grow up. I see it so clearly that it haunts me to think I ever wished away anything. I will admit it is nice to hear people say "wow, you are so mature" or "wow, you seem to have your life together", but I guess you interpret that based on what your definition of "life together" and "mature" are. Yes, I have great maturity when it comes to saving money and handling a credit card, and yes I have my life together in regards to having a full time job, good place to live and good credit, but there are downsides to those loosely used words too.

I don't believe I am mature in my profession seeking. I believe I rushed into the first, or only job I THOUGHT I could get. Don't get me wrong, I do think I am good at what I do, I just don't think that it is THE job for me. Now, I know some will say "you just started, and you have plenty of time to figure it out" and I agree with that statement, I just still don't feel mature about the decision I made from the start.

When it comes to having my life together, I don't think I do in the aspect of myself. I don't feel content with how I handle my outside life; my social life, my relationship and my spare time in which I am not working (which even then, feels like nothing). I don't feel like I have my life together, though being settled down like a mature adult, because my mind, my brain and my heart are spiraling in a roller coaster trying to figure out what it is that I want to do. So with that, I definitely do NOT have my life together.

I wish I could give advice to people who have been in my situation, hurrying up to grow up, because this is what I would tell them: when someone tells you that you are too immature, don't listen. Just laugh in there face and say that you are having fun. When someone tells you that you joke around too much and don't take situations seriously, tell them you have all the time in the world to take life seriously and now is not the time. When someone tells you to "calm down", keep doing what you are doing because I guarantee you that they are actually more jealous at the bound of energy that you have than they are really caring about you acting that way.

I once was the immature friend, and now I can easily say that I am the settled adult. And it is funny because I remember thinking just how sad those lives were of my friends who took life way too seriously way back when, and only years later, am I one and the same.

I hope, truly for myself and others like me, that we can learn to take a step back and reevaluate out lives. I don't know how old you are, but I am only 29, and yet sometimes I feel like I am 50. And yes, I still say I am growing up at 29 years old. I am still figuring out life, and figuring out what the word "settling" even means to me. As we get older, we are all 'adult-ish', just some being more than others. And that is okay.