Fostering Kindness

I could go on about how these past few years have been a struggle, to say the least. But not a person on earth doesn't realize this fact by now. What I will say is that now more than ever it's important to look at ourselves and think about what we can, have, and will do to make life even just a bit more bearable, for us and for others.

In my life I've tried to be kind and respectful as I have definitely been shown the opposite. I know what it feels like to feel left out, to feel unwanted or not enough. If someone in your life is making you feel this way, my best advice is to cut them off whenever you can. Removing negative energy from your life will absolutely help you bring positivity to others. With that said, these are the steps I'm going to take this year to keep up the positive energy:

1. Listen more

It's natural for humans to want to talk about themselves, no exceptions. It becomes very easy to talk over someone when you may simply be trying to relate your own experiences or to give advice. But sometimes that isn't what people need. Sometimes having someone there that you know is there to talk to, to listen so you can get it all out there, means the world. Just by being there you can be showing all the support a person needs in that moment.

2. Reach out

Sometimes people are naturally quiet. They don't like the idea of 'bothering' others with their own problems. I've been like this almost my whole life. This is why I know how important it can be sometimes to just text someone, to check in. Even if you just ask them how their week has been, or how their new job is going. To show them you care and pay attention to the things they talk to you or sometimes post about. This isn't to say I'm going to make myself be on top of every single post and take any indication in tone to reassure that I'm here for them, but every once in a while when I realize it's been some time since I talked to someone, just as much as a 'hey friend, I was just thinking about you, how are things going?' It doesn't have to be just when they post that they're going through a hard time, because I want to be there for them for anything, good or bad. To make them feel like they're still very much a part of my life.

3. Be patient, and accept when to leave it

Patience for me can be an issue. I feel like it can be an issue for a lot of us. In a world of instant gratification and results, it gets hard to wait. Whether that be on food, a package, or someone to respond. And sometimes they won't. It's important to learn to accept even if you reach out and try to do everything 'right', sometimes that person just doesn't want your help. Not because you're a bad friend, but just because it is their choice. I personally strive to become better at patience and acceptance, and that all I can do is offer a hand. You can't control whether or not they'll take it, and forcing the issue always makes it worse. Everyone expresses their feelings in a different way, and I have to learn that that's OK.

5. Take care of myself

I'm not sure if this step comes off as selfish, but as I mentioned in the beginning, cutting out negative influences makes it much easier to be positive. This isn't going the 'if you don't love yourself no one can love you route' or anything, I just think it's important to remember that you're just as much of a person as everyone else. You also deserve kindness, and being kind to yourself puts you in a better mood, thus spreading it around to those you interact with. And sometimes self care includes making dates with friends, spending time outside or at a bar or even just hanging out at one another's houses. Social interaction is very important for good mental health, and when you're in a better place mentally, it becomes second nature to want to be more involved, even in small ways.

Life is hard for everyone. I make it my personal mission to help make it even the tiniest bit easier for those around me. And in being kind to others, I'm more inclined to be kind to myself, and vice versa. At the end of the day we're all just trying to make it through, especially lately. I want to do what I can to be a friend and someone who makes life easier, not harder.