Forever Change A Life

August 15, 2009 - Saturday

Woodstock decades ago, memories. Current mood: contemplative

I don't know why I'm writing this. Someone told me I should put my memories of the events down...OK. Woodstock. 1969.

Here are some random thoughts that I plan to reorganize someday.

Why did I go? Got invited by a friend (Tom P.) to go to this big concert, party, on some guys farm...Max...somebody..we didn't know we were going to "Woodstock". Just rumors of a concert event. Tickets? Nope, we weren't sure if we needed any. It didn't matter back then very much when you started talking a concert (you know, just another big party). Travel? We were both 16, maybe I had a license, but we had no vehicles anyway, so we hitched up there from Windsor, CT..."there", yeah, once we got in the general area we just followed everyone else. Baggage? Green sleeping bag, backpack I think...lost or left the sleeping bag. Shit, it was my favorite from scouts. Wallet, maybe? I remember a "slicker" I brought in case of rain. LOL. (this item becomes very important years later).

Travel? Lots of walking. Miles I'm sure, but it didn't matter to us then. At that age, and with the energy and excitement that was mounting around us, who was walking...for many in this body parade, it was more running and jumping onto passing pickups, car hoods, etc.

Tickets? LOL. Like I said, by the time we got there later the first day, the gates and fences had been overrun...we just wandered on into something that would change my life forever.

People? Well, it didn't take long as we started to wander into this soup of bodies...that, oh shit I lost Tom. If you turned around, took a step or two, you could have hundreds of people pass between you and so... sorry, later Tom. More on that. We did reconnect like "magic" on our exit out.

First day activity? Wander. Talk. Listen from a distance. I don't remember if I ever ate...must have. Must have been drinking something too. Lots of naked girls offering drugs... Portable toilet trucks...yeah, like 18 wheeler boxes with stairs...and inside, unisex toilet holes in the wood. Everyone goes. The portable potty units were way over there and there and there and the lines were... THIS IS WHERE I LOST IT... like so many who DON'T remember. Must have been given something, drank something...

Second day/night activity? ME COMING DOWN, OR OUT, OR BACK...Being a musician of course I found myself right where you would expect me, maybe a hundred plus yards, directly in front t of the stage. The sun was almost down, getting darker fast, I think. Someone was making various announcements. No, I don't remember. But to this day I have so many songs burned in my mind which I must have heard. Songs and musicians I have cherished all these years, but I don't understand why. HERE IT IS, THAT MOMENT, THE MOST AWE INSPIRING MOMENT OF MY LIFE. I STOOD UP AND TURNED AROUND TO WITNESS A SEA OF BODIES AND FACES, OUT TO THE HORIZON. I COULD NOT MOVE. I SANK BACK TO MY KNEES. I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE.

Second night/day? I don't remember much. Its a shame, I was still pretty high, drifting in and out. Listening to music, and sorry don't remember who it was, or when. I did make a move later that night. I headed toward the knoll, about 11 o'clock from the stage. I think that is where I last saw Tom. Wandering, talking, listening, sniffing, and god knows what else. I managed to get back to that point. I met a couple, amazingly from Middletown, CT. I was really hot for this guys girlfriend, so I made some conversation and ended up sleeping with her in her small tent. The guy, I think he was out getting high. LOL. It wasn't a romantic event. It just fit with the amazing energy ...

Third day? Wandering, coming back to the tent point, just to keep some bearing. Watching, listening. Music, announcements. Like lots of announcements. I remember they had a church service announced somewhere. LOL. I really didn't pay much attention to the environment. I wasn't into the mud wars, etc. I moved away from the main mass. Part of me was planning and questioning: how the hell am I going to get out of here??? What happened to Tom? Where's my sleeping bag? All the essential thought of a teenager, not knowing I was at one of histories greatest events. Remember, I didn't know we were at WOODSTOCK.

Later that daze I started making my move out. I think I still had my old army issue backpack from scouts. LOL. Some people were starting to leave. You know I'm not even sure if it was Sunday, or Monday. I think maybe I had more trips than I care to remember. LOL. But, I was working my way with the rest of the swarms, moving out of the event.

Once I hit the road out it was like everyone, asking for rides, locations, directions... How did we survive this? LOL. Amazingly, like magic, I ran into Tom P. again doing the same thing. I remember after walking for a long, long time, we hitched a ride with a guy who had a pick-up truck going down state.. we were on our way home. All I do remember is this guy was so gracious, younger maybe in his twenties. He went way out of his way like hours to get us closer to our route...? LOL. The rest of the trip details are lost to time. But what I have, I have never forgotten.

August 16, 2009

I just returned from Bethel, NY (the actual location) and the 40th Woodstock anniversary action...a lot happened Friday and Saturday with music and groups performing. Sorry, I can't feedback a lot of Saturday; I spent a lot of time at the museum. "Peace"is the word of the weekend.

These days were special; it was the first time I returned to this site in 40 years. I walked the grounds, remembering where I sat, where the tent was and the awe of this now historically preserved land, its spiritual energy which is still felt today by so many who I had an opportunity to talk with.. For me it’s an inner hunger that is being fed. For many here, sitting in the grasses, benches, etc. it’s an outer experience. Most who I talked to, who were not actually here in 1969, they are transported in spirit; maybe by hunger also.

I had the awesome (cool) opportunities to perform a few impromptu tours for others myself. There are not many actual 1969 attendees I guess who make it back here. Most would be older than me. Those that are here kind of sit back in various locations and let people pick their brains. They said, talk to him (pointing to me), he was here too. So, I started actually walking up to small groups asking them if they had been here in 1969. Of course for many, it was obvious the answer was no. So off I went giving my little tours. Introducing people to a spiritual and human experience like never before, what I could remember anyway. LOL. Its funny, many people wanted to touch me, shake my hand; I was signing autographs on the books they were buying. Why? Because... I went to the moon and back, and have no way to describe to them what it was like.

Added notes in 2009 : Tour(ing) with 4-5 guys from Texas I had met with at the stage site, 3 here for the event spirit, who were too young to have attended and one who missed the original event because he just didn’t get here in time and one who was turned away. Thousands were turned away in 1969. They say the real numbers may have been more than 750,000 had the area roadways been able to absorb so many. ...more added notes 2009: I toured the grounds with a women and her husband, (I'm guessing in their early 40's) neither who had actually attended in 1969, walking with me, asking me what it was like, and how awesome it must have been to hear Janis and Jimi... I did my best to describe, as so many have over the decades: if you were there in 1969, you may not be remembering everything as well as expected. I did remember at one point they were announcing some kind of religious services taking place somewhere over there…I think.

August, 2014. I was in heart surgeries and was forced to miss the 45th anniversary gathering. Oh yeah! The "slicker". The slicker had a hood. It was light blue with a dark blue lining. In B&W pictures the slicker would appear a light gray. Somewhere in these years I came across a picture along the road in or out. The picture showed hundreds, if not a thousand of bodies and traffic moving along. WHAT? COULD THAT BE THE SLICKER? The hood was on, the lining was dark. I pulled the area out of the picture, blew it up; yes it was me! I/we compared the face (with a mustache too) to other pictures of the same late 60's time period: we agreed we had a match. The guy to the left of the VW Beetle, wearing a hat I believe is Tom P. I still have the picture.

August 2019. The 50th anniversary was a bust. Impromptu gatherings took place in Bethel and around the world. A ticketed event never took place due to zoning issues, etc. Really, as I see it, no event could take place because the creators were doing their best to replicate and commercialize something that could not be repeated.

Chuck Sadosky

Woodstock T-Shirt by Stephen Fishwick / getdownart.com