Finding Wyoming

They were arguing all night. This one was especially bad. Nick and Alice were on the verge of a breakup for a while, but tonight it seemed he wanted a full stop. ‘That’s it. We are ending it.’ said Nick firmly, although his voice was trembling and did not reflect confidence of his choice. ‘It can’t be one sided decision,’ retorted Alice, walking out of the door, unwilling to accept it. ‘No more tears tonight’ she thought.

The next morning, after everyone calmed down, Nick wasn’t so sure about his decision. However, he wasn’t ready to admit it yet. ‘Well, are we cancelling the trip?’ said Alice, her face is swollen from crying last night. ‘I don’t know’ said Nick grimly. When Alice was about to leave the room, he interrupted her: ‘Maybe we don’t have to. Maybe we should still go and see what happens’. ‘Maybe. We wanted to go to the mountains for several months now.’ finished Alice. They agreed to waste no time and go tomorrow. ‘I will pack my things now’ said Alice very quietly, like she was actually leaving. ’I will pack the rabbit’s things,’ said Nick. Yes, they had a rabbit named Allen, white like a snowball and perky like any dog.

Their morning was sour, but packing calmed Alice down a bit. After going through a mountain of clothes, Alice got to her special little black notebook, where she writes her best memories and ideas for all of her stories. She sat on the edge of the bed, opened it and started writing: ‘Finding Wyoming. A story of a break up.’ Uninvited tears came to each corner of her eyes. She added: ‘A Love story’.

The majority of the drive up north Nick and Alice spent in their own thoughts. They drove hours in silence, exchanging a few words. The air got lighter between them the next morning, when they stopped for breakfast at the charming little town early autumn morning. The golden leaves were flying in the air, while they enjoyed their food at the patio. There was something magical about it.

Little by little they started talking more and more as they continued their journey. They were discussing books, movies, and music, everything made to make people happy, while the sun was touching the yellow trees making the scene even warmer. They enjoyed it. Alice made some notes in her black notebook. Nick noticed it.

They spent the evening by the charming little lake at the park walking the rabbit on a leash. Sunset enveloped the city in pink hues of the north. Nick wanted to take a picture of both of them, suddenly the rabbit ran away and Alice had to go after him. Sadly, the moment has passed and will never return. Nick got upset and they were arguing, before Alice gathered her bearings. After half an hour of shouting they got to the simple conclusion: their problem is the same. They both bring something painful from each other’s past into their relationship and they fear they won’t be able to carry on with their future together. ‘We both need help, sweetie,’ said Alice gently. Nick didn’t reply, but seamlessly nodded. They wanted to continue their journey together.

Glacier Park was gorgeous during Fall. Orange, yellow, red and green trees mixed together covered breathtaking mountains with sunny blue sky in the background. Some of the peaks still had bright blue glaciers on top. It looked like a wonderland. They walked through the forest to find the hidden waterfall, they could hear it nearby. Alice carried the rabbit in a special sack like a baby. ‘What are you staring at? Never seen a rabbit in a sack? Take a picture, it will last longer.’ thought the rabbit. Indeed, nothing unusual here, keep walking.

When they got to the waterfall, they found a mesmerizing view to the crystal clear mountain lake. They let the rabbit run for a while and he was happy about it. Alice sat down by the tree and started writing in her black book. ‘What are you writing?’ asked Nick. ‘I haven’t seen the Fall in four years. It’s beautiful up here. Something I would want to read about later,’ replied Alice with a faint smile. The day was warm and sunny, but it was coming to its end. They drove back to the motel.

At the motel they fell onto the bed right away. They were exhausted. They cuddled up. It was nice, almost perfect. Almost. It is possible that Nick remembered that he wanted to end this relationship recently. It is possible this is why he started having concerns. It is a possible reason why he pulled away from Alice and turned on the other side, away from her. It is hard to tell if this was the truth. It is also hard to tell, if this is what triggered Alice. It is possible.

She stood up immediately and asked him to talk. Nick replied that he doesn’t want to get into another argument and wanted to fall asleep. But they did get into an argument, because Alice couldn’t stop at this point. She started losing control. She has been getting help for a while, but years of pain don’t go away with just months of treatment. Suddenly, she stopped talking or making any sounds and left the room. Nick felt it immediately. He knew what happened. He ran into the bathroom and found Alice cut herself. He picked her up right away, put on a bed and wrapped her wrists. Thank God, they travel with the first aid kit now. ‘We were getting help, you were getting better,’ muttered Nick while he was treating her wounds, which thankfully weren’t deep. ‘Why Alice?’ whispered Nick, his voice was trembling. ‘I just wanted to fall asleep. I couldn’t. I can’t… anymore...’ mumbled Alice through tears. Nick wrapped her into a blanket and cuddled up with her, gently brushing his fingers through her hair. ‘It’s going to be okay’ he kept whispering to her ear.

‘Jesus. Blood is everywhere.’ said Nick anxiously. ‘Entertainment for the cleaning team. To guess what the hell happened here.’ replied Alice shyly trying to make a joke about the situation. Nick wasn’t having it.

The morning was spent in silence. Not in awkward silence, but resting silence. The air was filled with tenderness. They had tea on a bench right in front of the beautiful lake from yesterday. ‘Well, I am going to clean Allen’s cage’ said Nick out of nowhere. ‘What? Why? What?’ Indeed, Alice got confused. Is that really the first thing he wants to do after yesterday? ‘Well yes, dude stinks, we can’t drive around like this anymore’ said Nick. Alice started laughing, Nick followed. So he cleaned the rabbit’s cage in the beautiful lake, obviously meant for something else, while Allen was lounging by the tree. Alice chuckled once again. What an absurd life they lived.

They spent an afternoon sitting at the edge of the cliff, splitting a bottle of wine and overlooking another mountain lake surrounded by glaciers. A view you see in the movies. ‘Listen,’ suddenly said Nick. ‘Next time we should get it right. You know, with helicopters and firetrucks, police cuffing us and so on. And I want to be in local news. I think with our skills we can get there.’ finished Nick. Alice laughed out loud. ‘All right, then. You got it’ all she said before they kissed. ‘This view is to pay for, huh?’ whispered Alice afterwards. They sat there looking forward, holding hands.

The next day they were driving to Wyoming through Southern Montana, which was warm and beautiful. They drove with open windows. Sun rays and warm wind were hitting Alice’s face. She closed her eyes to enjoy it. It was the moment of tranquility and happiness. She wrote about it in her black book.

They got to their mountain town. They were here before, it was their secret place. The valley is surrounded by gorgeous and majestic mountains, with golden fields and forest all colors of rainbow. The river clear and blue runs through those fields with rolls of hay, and horses trotted through the valley. It’s an escape route. A fairytale. But this place was real.

They walked the hidden park for hours. There was a bridge across the river made of stones. They went there and back like fifty times. They pet and fed the horses. They had breakfast by the river with Allen, enjoying the grass and the water, after licking the top of the beer can. Alcoholic. They jumped into an ice cold mountain river in the midst of the Fall! It was freezing. But they were happy. They laid on the grass by the lake afterwards, talking, laughing and kissing. They sat on the bridge facing the sun, closed their eyes and felt like they were flying up. It was incredible.

Nick and Alice were crossing the bridge over the widest river ever, when the birds flew straight to them and began flying around. Like in a Disney movie. Fascinating. They looked at each other for a moment, then Alice said: ‘I don’t want to move forward. I want the time to stay still. I know that I would want to go back, if the time moves, to the beginning of us. So I would rather not move forward.’ ‘There is no ending for us forward, Alice’ replied Nick, holding her by the shoulders. They kissed.

It was one of the warmest moments in her life, that she kept re- reading from her special black notebook.

They stayed at the coziest little cabin and the night was the happiest. No arguments, no doubts, no fear. Just love.

The next day they drove home. Nick would occasionally put his hand on Alice’s leg, while driving. Drastically different feeling from where they started the trip.

They stopped at the strange motel, looking a little worn out. They got the key from the night manager and went upstairs to their room. Or so they thought. When they opened the door a massive man ran out of the room. The key was to the wrong room! Nick and Alice, shocked, apologized immediately, said they would leave right away and apologized again for the disturbance. The big man seemed to hear none of it and he attacked the couple by throwing their belongings at them and over the fence to the ground. Nick tried to stop him, but the man pushed him away and threw another bag down. Then he tried to get to the Allen’s cage, but Alice put herself in between them and the man threw the suitcase right into her head. Hell, seriously?

She fell disoriented, but Nick picked her and the cage up and they ran away from the dangerous man.

For some reason the night manager refused to help them and locked herself in the office, refusing to respond to them. Nick and Alice had to call the police. They had to wait a long time before police came, so they decided to gather their demolished belongings.

Suddenly, Alice stopped everything. She looked at Nick and asked: ‘Why do we hold on to things so tightly?’ Silence. They both got it. They gathered destroyed belongings and, except for the black book, put them in the trash. That felt surprisingly liberating. Then the police came. They documented the incident and left. More than anything Alice and Nick wanted to leave too and never come back. They were both grateful they and Allen were fine. The damage was passed. Nick held Alice’s hand.

3 month later a surprising thing happened to the couple. They sued the hotel for the incident and won the process. The hotel paid them no less than twenty thousand dollars in retribution.

One sunny afternoon they sat down to discuss what they wanted to do with the money. Alice asked : ‘So do you want to go on a trip?’