Finding Long-Distance Love on Tinder

As a proud Gen-Zer, introvert since birth, and gay woman, it should come as no surprise that I met my current girlfriend on a dating app (Tinder) at the start of a pandemic.

Now, I know that Tinder has a reputation for being a hookup app as opposed to a dating app, and trust me, the rumors are true. I must have swiped through at least 1,000 profiles over the course of a couple of months, most of which fall into one of these categories:

a) couples looking for threesomes

b) singles looking for hookups

c) people looking for plugs

In the two percent of other users were:

d) people looking for friends

e) people there for anything

f) people looking for an actual relationship

I was in category 'f'; I was tired of being single after having only one real relationship in the early years of high school and a few failed "talking stages" since then. So I downloaded Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Three dating apps may seem excessive to most people, but to be honest, they're three different kinds of apps with different different kinds of users. Tinder had the most users but I almost never found girls who were....compatible with me. I, being the picky person I am, wasn't really finding it easy to match with people in my 100-mile radius. I had a series of rules to help me decide whether or not to swipe right:

1) the first picture can't be a group picture or any picture not of the person on the profile

2) there must be a bio that has substance and more than a social media handle

3) there has to be more than one picture of the person

4) no mentions of eating, sleeping, or smoking weed as a hobby (come on, really?)

5) at least one picture without a huge filter

My girlfriend didn't exactly meet rule #2; her bio said "let's chat" followed by the rainbow emoji. I reminded myself of this rule as I swiped through her five or so pictures, each selfie a different angle of her. She didn't look like the typical girl I would go for but there was no denying that she was pretty and looked sweet. She had her top Spotify songs connected and I knew and liked most, if not all of them. So I broke my rule. Something about her made me swipe right. I'm not sure how long it was until we matched, but when I opened the app to see her face on the list of my matches, I actually wanted to talk to her. Out of the twenty-ish matches I already had gotten, I decided to actually talk to this one. I don't normally slide into DMs, and saying "hey" wouldn't really guarantee me a response. So, I simple typed, "your music taste >>>" and hit send. I mean, what better way to compliment a teenager than by telling them their music taste is good?

Most of me didn't expect her to respond, but she did within a few minutes. That response turned into a full conversation on any and everything, causing us to talk until we got tired and start again in the morning. This continued for a few days until she asked if we could move to actually texting each other and me getting her number. By this time, I was in love with her. I know what you're thinking, "how can you be in love with someone after knowing them for a few days?" and my answer is simple: you just know. Maybe I just fit the lesbian stereotypes of falling in love immediately, but maybe not. We've been together for almost six months now, and of course, the situation isn't ideal. We live about 400 miles apart but when she's in school, it's about 200 miles. We met in person (I drove to her) for the first time a couple of days ago and it was like we've always known each other. We had been nervous that being online meant things could be different (worse) in person, but that wasn't the case. Instead, we're planning the next time we can see each other.

There haven't been many, if any, upsides to this pandemic, but she's mine.