Finding harmony

Everybody has experienced stress at least once in their lives. Work and family troubles, lack of money, problems with health – the list is endless. Life is tough and full of unpleasant moments and complex situations. That`s why it is so important to find the way to release the tension and get rid of all negative thoughts. For some people it`s very easy to disconnect from the outside world and harmful factors. Others are like me – we start overthinking, immerse into self-destructing rage, suffer from anxiety and insomnia.

I have never been a calm person, a person who can fully control their emotions, a person who lives in harmony with themselves and the world around them. To be honest, I`m the complete opposite of that. One wrong word, one wrong look and I ignite. I swear I can feel my blood boiling in my veins. I understand I can`t live this way. I need to be calmer, to learn to let the situation go, to ignore it.

Easier said than done.

All my life I have been fighting with myself and with my tantrums. I`ve tried several things: boxing, meditating, anger management therapy. I truly loved boxing. It helped me to channel both my energy and anger. I was able to enjoy it until my coach got me into the sparring. With the first punch in the face, I lost it. Needless to say that my boxing match turned into MMA. Well, I had to quit.

Then my friend suggested yoga. I tried my best, but couldn`t tolerate it. I barely finished the first lesson. Sitting in the same pose for half an hour – no, thank you.

After failing to control my emotions, especially anger, so many times I started to think that something is wrong with me and I need professional help. This is how I met Dr. Hale – the most amazing person, who really helps people. It was he, who recommended me to find a hobby, something repetitive. In the beginning I didn`t take him seriously and was rather sarcastic. However, Dr. Hale can be very persuasive and I started to think what I could possibly do. Then I remembered that long time ago during my school years I was quiet good in crocheting. I decided to give it a try. I bought yarn, hooks of different sizes, found interesting patterns.

With the first stitch, I realized that I like it. It was easy for me to crochet as if I have been doing it my entire life. Stitch after stitch, row after row, I transformed a ball of yarn into a blanket, toy or scarf. I completely immersed myself. I tried to find new interesting and complicated patterns, always challenging myself.

I never found crocheting boring despite the fact that crocheting itself is the combination of the same stitches. I think I was interested because all these same stitches created something new all the time. As soon as I started a new project I couldn`t wait to finish it, to see the result. I started experimenting with different yarns and various patterns, trying impossible combinations. I opened an entirely new chapter of my life. I started to attend exhibitions, craft shows, fairs. I made friends with people with the same hobbies and interests. I didn`t realize it at first, but I became calmer, stopped getting mad over nothing. Gradually, I managed to find my inner piece, my harmony. Now I realize that when I crochet I fall in some kind of trance. The outside world doesn`t bother me anymore. Well, I`m still the same sarcastic person and when people make comments about my hobby, I simply answer them “I crochet, because murder is illegal”!